Is it really over when cheating spouses are in love with other men/women? Have you ever wondered what makes cheating spouses cheat in the first place? They certainly didn’t get married with the intention of being unfaithful to their spouse, so why did they do it?. It is fairly common for complex cheating spouses to give up on a relationship the moment things start to become a little difficult.

Rather than admitting and accepting that there  is a problem in their marriage, they look for someone else to fulfil their needs. These needs could be anything from a physical connection to strictly intellectual relations leading to an emotional affair. Affairs take place because one spouse’s needs are no longer met by their partner. Cheating spouses are attracted to someone else who will (temporarily or permanently) meet their needs. Spouses cheat because of problems in their relationship because something is missing, passion is no more there, partner is feeling lonely, people find someone who treats them better or appreciates them more than their current spouse.

Phone Comments:

Arizona: Some husbands are too busy to give attentions to their wives, everything is not about money, but these women have feelings too and when their husband is not available to satisfy their emotional needs or physical needs, they therefore go out to have affairs with other men like their drivers, gate men or some guys in their neighbourhood. Men must create time for their wives to make them feel important and loved.

Ade: I don’t agree with Arizona, because the husbands are not available is not a reason for women to cheat on their men. The truth is that any woman or man involved in such acts already has the tendency to cheat even before marriage. Women that cheats on their husbands are simply a bad woman.

Obi: Some women cheat on their men just to get back at their men. All in the intention to pay them back in their own coins. A friend of mine cheated on her husband and said she felt better doing it.

Peter: A lady with dignity wouldn’t indulge herself in such act.

Goddy: Some women cheat on their husband because they cant take proper care of them.

Kemi: Am cheating on my husband and i am still going to keep cheating on him. You might want to ask me why,, well, the marriage was an arranged thing, i was never in love with this guy, my parents imposed him on me for some reasons best known to them. But i have a man i was dating before the marriage and he is actually the one i am with. My husband is never around, he doesn’t treat me like a wife, he doesnt make love to me,, so what do you expect me to do? I have to find my own happiness. I would have divorced him if not for my parents. I once got pregnant for him, but got rid of it without his knowledge.

Evelyn: I am passing this comment on kemi’s issue. You can’t be in a relationship if you are not in love with the man you are married to.  I will suggest she breaks up with  the man for her to be completely happy. Marriage is not supposed to be a do or die affair.

Tony: No one should blame kemi for no reason. I had a similar problem too, i dated a married woman and things got really ugly between the husband, the wife and myself. It was the grace of God that saved me.

Joy: I applaude Kemi for her courage to publicly declare that she is cheating on her man. Lots of women suffer in marriages because they lack inadequate counselling on marriage before getting married.

Ogon (not real name): I am a relationship with no happiness. Am married with 3 kids, and for over 6 months now, i have been considering cheating on my man. He cheats on me and doesn’t care about how i feel. He doesn’t care about me and the kids, if not that i have a well paying job, i wouldn’t have been able to take care of myself and cater for the kids.  I have feelings too, and i have no one to satisfy my own feelings.

Anonymous: Am married with 2 kids, and am considering cheating on my man.

Chaz B: When your marriage is not working, does cheating on your man solves the problem?

Anonymous: Its not so, but women are emotional and we need someone to satisfy the emotional desires. Well i have myself to blame in this relationship. I know this man well enough before i got married to him. I am more like a prisoner in my own house, i can’t go out, admit visitors. I feel so used and wasted.

Anonym (male): I have been married for 17 months now but i have a problem with my wife. She is just a pain in the butt, she doesn’t give me happiness at all. My point is that, it is not only men that makes women cheat in a relationship, women are responsible too.

Francis: Some ladies are sex freaks and would get down with any man that is sex appealing to them, so are some guys also.

Femi: Could be as a result of upbringing of individuals.

******COUNSELLING IS COMING UP THIS SATURDAY… call in for details on this number 0813900900******

1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Hebrews 13:4.

**** Guard your heart with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life ****

 23/10/09  Phone logs;( In the House was a Pastor and a Lawyer)

Brown Sugar:  I am not married and i don’t want divorce when am married. But does the pre-nuptial thing works in Nigeria.

Lawyer: The pre-nuptial act is the western thing, but it is gradually finding its way into our cultural values in Nigeria.

Eyitoyo: I express sympathy for women caught in this web. Women are beginning to see things differently, take for instance, the lady Sugar Brown above. We have lost our traditional values and not cultivating the western values. I will advice our women to stay connected to God. If you are not satisfied in your relationship, instead of cheating, you should just call it quit.

Basirat: My husband after a marriage of over 21 years comes home just to tell me he wants a divorce without any good reason. He hasnt ever complained of anything. Please, what do you think could be responsible for this?

Lawyer: I think this is a family problem or individual differences. You should try to sit him down and talk things out with him.

Anonymous: How come is it that when it is the Woman caught cheating, the Men would want divorce but when the Man is caught cheating, he wouldn’t suggest divorce. I am going through divorce right now. This is not about christianity but emotional abuse.

Chaz B: Children from divorced homes are likely to exhibit the following characteristics;

Academic frustrations , Agressiveness , Pre- marital affairs, Problem with authorities, Low self esteem and so on,

Lawyer: Marriage is a union between a man and a woman coming together to live as husband and wife. Break up is allowed in a marriage if there are in-reconciable matters. But think twice because of its effects on the kids.

Obi: I am married with 4 kids but i am very unhappy. I have been married for 14 years now and my husband had abandoned me for 10 years now. Its so hard for me with the 4 kids, fine i got married very early. I am confused, i don’t know what to do and divorce is not an option for me.

Anonymous 2: How long can one wait to admit divorce? What does the bible say about divorce?. My husband has been away for 2 years now with his girlfriend. We are married both legally and in church, I want to know what the church and the court says about divorce and on what ground can divorce be admitted.

**** Most women get married for wrong reasons and for selfish gains and that is why there are so many complications in marriages. Materialism has bitten so hard into our women.

Tope: I am married for 13 years and am happy though i have issues am dealing with privately and i am not considering divorce. Marriage is very complicated, it is full of ups and downs. All married people should stand up to their responsibilities and everything would be fine.

People should just remain single instead of cheating in their marriages.

Counselling starts 12pm tomorrow at the Amazing Plaza, ligali ayorinde street.

Phone log:

Proudly King Tj : I have heard and seen lots of cases related to this. Its so unfortunate that there are still mothers in this age that still encourages their daughters to go into prostitution all in the name of making money. These kind of mothers are usually the materialistic type, those that will never add values to themselves nor their children and they want the best things of life.

Dumedi: It is probably because of the economic situation in the country.

Chuks: Am surprised you are not aware of this things Chaz B. I have seen many of these cases in the eastern part of the country. I donot agree that the economy has anything to do with this, it simply has to do with moral values of individuals.

Anonymous : This is a lower version of whats been happening long time ago. There has been cases where parents sell their properties to send their daughters abroad  for prostitution so they could make money in foreign currencies and send down to them here in Nigeria. This issue still bores down to moral values and not economic problems.

Naomi: Everyone have their own life to live and rights to their own opinions. Therefore parents should not try to make money through their daughters.  Because they have suffered failed dreams or being unable  to achieve success in their time, doesnt mean they should put pressure on their daughters in order to make money from other men.

Silas: There is no way you can talk about this issues without telling it on the economy. But moral values still remains. Ladies should not accept pressure from parents, instead, they should think of positive things that will fetch them money.

Sunkanmi: This issue is not a new thing. The guy shouldnt go for the girl, i will advice him to just take a walk. What if the guy goes broke? The mother would still come back and persuade the girl to go into prostitution. Mothers should not influence their daughters into doing wrong things.

Kingsley: We can determine our actions but not the cosequences. Supposing the lady in question dies, wont the family or the parents continue with their own lives?. I would advice the lady to ignore all the pressures coming from her family and concentrate on her life.

Busola: It is not wrong for the lady to fend for her family but what i am against is for her trying to fend for herself and her family by selling her body to other men for pleasure and money.

Korede: First thing, for the guy, as long as he loves the lady, he should talk to her once again and advice her and observe her if she yeilds to his advice. And for the lady,she should take charge of her own life,, her mother is just a selfish person.

Supo: Advice for the guy, he should settle down, ask himself a very challenging question that if things turns out wrongly with him, how will he cope with the lady and the lady’s mother?

Melvin: The lady is into prostitution and that is the truth. The guy should know that from the lady’s family has a generational history of prostitution for her mother to be advising her to be meeting other men for money. Charity begins at home they say.

Anonymous 2: It is a habitual thing the mother is trying to put her daughter into. My advice for the guy is just to take a walk. He is not yet married to the lady and all these unpleasant issues are rising. How much more when they eventually get married?. The mother is not adding any positive values to her daughter. No doubt, after much persuasion from the mother, the lady will listen to her mother. The guy should just brace himself up and look somewhere else for a better partner.

Samson: If he really loves the lady, he should do some spiritual works on her, like taking her for counselling, prayers.

BrownSugar: The guy should just take a walk. For a mother to want her daughter to go all out to  get money from men. Them am sorry, that is family of prostitutes. So guy, take a walk.

Nneka: First, the guy should take a walk. It is obvious that the mother wants the daughter to go into prostitution but the guy should advice the lady on what her mother is introducing her into.

Irene:  It is either the guy walks away or settles it. If he is ready to take it on, he has to take it God in prayer. But if he truely loves this lady, he should introduce to some female and male friends that could influence her positively.  But seriously, he shouldjust walk away. This issue is far beyond love, this is reality and a real life situation. He should make a positive impact in the lady’s life even if he is going to leave her for good.

Amos: It is sad that the lady is allowing her mother to influence her negatively at her age. She should just try and take charge of her own life. And for the guy, take a walk !!.

Dayo: I had a friend that suffered same fate also. If the lady is a christian, take her to a living church for proper counselling.

Helen: The lady might not know what she’s doing or going into is wrong, she might just think she is doing a favour for her family.

Bunmi: The guy should just take a walk and find someone better.

Chaz B: Thanks for your advises and comments, the guy is listening also and by now he should know what’s good for him. Thanks for your time everybody and God bless.

Finally: Guard your heart with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life.

Guyz, what’s responsible for this attitude?? Pick up your calls and tell us your story, and also post your comments on here;;

Phone Logs:

Charles; This topic does apply to me,, i am a playa and as a matter of fact, i have more than 5 girlfriend. The funny thing is that, these girls are not interested in money or some material things, though some are in for that. But to me, what they want is just my company and i am giving it to them the way the want it. But now i am married and i a very faithful to me wife. Don’t wanna be a playa nomore !!  But i am still friends with my ex-girlfriends and there is nothing intimate going on between us.

Ifeanyi: Am a playa and unfortunately for me, it is full of fun for me. It is so hard for me because the girls keep coming. The truth is that, these ladies start up the whole thing, so i give it to them. But now i am getting fed up of these ladies because i want to settle down but they keep coming back.

Anynonous: The situation of things is so worrisome but its alarming how easy it is for guys to keep large number of girls. The reason(s) a guy or a lady keeps more than a partner is quite an issue and everyone will definitely have a point to defend his or herself.

Anonymous 2: It is simply the ladies fault. I have seen cases where a guy would tell a girl that he is in a relationship but the lady still doesnt care, she is bent on having her way with the guy. And when this happens, what do you expect or think?  The ladies make it too easy for guys to get them because they appear so cheap, desperate and vulnerable. As for me, i am getting married soon and i love my wife so much. I was once a playa.

Anonymous 2’s babe: I am aware that he was the lady kind of guy, we understand eachother and i am cool with him.

Tony : Ladies are at fault. Their eyes are always popping out when they see a cute, goodlooking and averagely ok guy. You see them flocking around these guys with lustful intentions, and by so doing, they fall prey to these guys. Even though they know these guys are married or engaged, they still want to have their way.

Chaz B: Ladies please slow down on these guys and look out for your own man. A text comes in saying, Chaz B, why are you exposing us??

Tony: These ladies are just as unruly as these guys. I am not a playa though.

Maureen: If 10 guys calls a lady, be rest assured that 7 out of them are playaz. Guys should just accept and say to the ladies that they just want to have fun instead of fooling us around.

Chaz B: Is there anyone that wants to testify if the ladies care if there is a ring or not??

Ade: Playaz gat games and they know how to lure the ladies, so ladies beware. And some ladies are cons too..

Supo: Wants to disagree and agree with some few people. There are ladies with self esteem and many with low self esteem. Guys can easily identify these ladies from the crowd. They go for what suits their present desires.

Chiamaka: If a guy meets a lady for the first time and lures the lady to bed, they guy is as worse as the lady because they are both cheap.

******: How would you know if a guy is serious or not? Most men just want to lay with a lady under the pretence of being serious.

Chaz B; Ladies should device pranks on their men to test their seriousness but please, donot go to the extreme cos it could go the other way.

Amaka:  Chaz B, am not happy with you at all, cos you are not telling these guys what they are doing is very wrong and uncalled for.

Chaz B:  But this happens every now and then.

Bimpe: Guys are at fault, all they want to do is to get a lady laid by saying so many sweet words.

John: Most girls appear cheap, and this makes it hard for guys to get serious with one woman because of how they potray themselves.  Guys assume that your girls are only yours when they are with you and belong to others when they are not with you.

Chaz B: In conclusion, for the Gents, would you want your sister, daughter, neice or aunty to be played by other guyz???

Deola: God has given us the spirit of freewill. It is upto everyone to decide what is best for them instead of putting blames on others.

Finally; Guard your heart with all Diligence because out of it flows the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23

Thank You.