Introduction:

Incest is any sexual activity between close relatives ranging from fondling to intercourse between family members who are not married (often within the immediate family)  irrespective of the ages of the participants and irrespective of their consent. Generally, it is considered incest if the child has been used in a sexual manner by: fathers, or step-fathers, mothers, or step-mothers, brothers, sisters or cousins as well as members of their extended family such as grandparents, aunts and uncles. Incest is any sexual activity between close relatives (often within the immediate family) irrespective of the ages of the participants and irrespective of their consent, that is illegal, socially taboo or contrary to a religious norm. The type of sexual activity and the nature of the relationship between people that constitutes a breach of law or social taboo vary with culture and jurisdiction. Some societies consider it to include only those who live in the same household, or who belong to the same clan or lineage; other societies consider it to include “blood relatives”; other societies further include those related by adoption or marriage.

The most frequently reported type of incest is father-daughter incest. However,sibling incest occurs as often, or more often, than other types of incest. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is considered a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma, a trauma that often does serious and long-term psychological damage, especially in the case of parental incest.

Whatever the reason or the excuse for incest the offenders use, it is wrong! Adults are responsible for protecting, loving and nurturing children, not traumatising and hurting them.

Sexual abuse of any kind is a traumatic experience, but it doesn’t have to ruin your life You may feel guilty because you consented to incest or allowed yourself to be molested. Nevertheless, God will forgive you.

To feel truly free, its important that you forgive your abuser. Holding on to the resentment and anger will only hurt you and you will not feel totally cleansed. Once you pray for the person and ask God to forgive him or her, the heavyburden within your heart will be lifted away. Although it is often hard to forgive and forget, you can REMEMBER WITH FORGIVENESS.

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Until the recent times when the grave consequences attending the total negligence of genotype started taking a worrisome turn, true love, which is considered by all as rare and only God-given, would have been all that is required for a couple to walk down the aisle to exchange nuptial ties. Today however, as the fear of bearing a sickler as child becomes the beginning of wisdom, a million dollar question that all intending husbands and wives must answer in their decision to marry is: What takes preference: LOVE OR GENOTYPE? And it is not alarming that of late such a question has in many cases started to generate serious confrontations between the head and the heart.

True Love is divine and true Love is a blessing but if you find out that you and your partner are both carriers of the sickle cell trait (AS) or one AS and the other SS, would you still go ahead and get married: trying to draw the line between LOVE and the menance of having a child with sickle cell? Would you follow your heart or use your head?

PLEASE POST YOUR COMMENTS.  

Matthew 5:44. That text tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.
Luke 6:27-29 (King James Version) “But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.
In real life many of us have people we consider enemies. Sure, you probably don’t shoot your enemy or throw them out a window or anything like that, like you might see in an action movie. I’m sure some of us have done something mean to an enemy though or at least had bad thoughts about them. Is it right? Is it wrong?

We often hear people talking about getting even with their enemies, but that is not the Christian way. The book of Proverbs tells us the Christian way, “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty give him water to drink. For so you will heap coals of fire on his head and the Lord will reward you.” The Christian way is to offer a hand of friendship to everyone, even your enemies. Leave the judgment or anything that needs to be avenged to God.

What if you forgive your enemy and he continues to do you wrong? When is it ok to finally retaliate? In the book of Matthew Peter asks Jesus the same thing. Peter asks, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Peter thought that forgiving someone seven times was pretty generous but Jesus replied by saying, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Jesus doesn’t literally mean that somebody gets exactly 490 chances for forgiveness, and then you stop. What Jesus is trying to say is that you give them how ever many chances it takes.

Who is the Enemy ?: a person who feels hatred for, fosters harmful designs against, or engages in antagonistic activities against another (an adversary or opponent).

Rom 12:19-21
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

Enemies from Relationships gone sour !!

This is a common scenario in many broken relationships. A man or a lady once cherished all of a sudden turns out to be your worst nightmare, someone you don’t want to come in contact with, talkless of having anything to do with. We all wonder why lovers suddenly become enemies. According to research, there has been many reasons responsible for these acts;
 break-ups, irresponsive/irresponsible partner, and many more. Sharinglifeissue is interested in finding out more about why most lovers suddenly hate themselves. Your comments are welcome and of high priority to us as it provides leads to our findings.

Some phone logs;

Tope: I was in a relationship with this guy for 8 years, without giving me any signs or warnings, he got married to another lady. I found out about this later, it was a very great shock to me when i heard but i have gotten over it now. If you were to be in my shoes, what would you do and how will you feel about the guy?

Anon: It was a nice relationship until i got pregnant for this guy, he left me and got married to another lady. He threatened me to get rid of the pregnancy which i refused, he would come to my office and insult me over the pregnancy both him and his newly wedded wife. As if that was not enough, when i was put to bed, i lost the baby just some few minutes after i had him, still this guy wouldnt let me be, he kept calling that he doesnt care what i have been through that he is going to make life miserable for me. Whatever i had done to him to deserve such treatments from him, i donot know, cos as we speak, he is still on my giving me probs.

Anon(2): I got pregnant for this man who was meant to be my husband, but after he got the news of the pregnancy, he disappeared and i never heard from him, i developed so much hatred for him. When i had my baby, she looked so much like her dad and i transfered the hatred to my baby cos the more i look at her, the more i remmebered how bad i have been treated by her dad. But lately, my baby dad called and apologised for his wrongs, he told me he is married to another lady with kids. But keeps calling and asking for my forgiveness, it has been hell for me, and this man coming back into my life is like re-opening the scar he’d left in my heart.

  Relationships appear to be more complicated than we think and there are lots of things involved, so care must be taken when going into one.  There is a thin line between Love & Hate, and when that line is crossed, you never can tell what the outcome would be.

******* Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of Life ******

Introduction:

Phone Logs:

Anon: Not feeling fine  because i have a feeling no one cares about me. I am always in and out of loneliness and to make matters worse, i am still staying with my parents. I am 32 years old and still single. I think my lonliness is as a result of my not been married, i want a family of my own with kids.

Cynthia: lonliness is a part of my world, am 38 yrs old not married. I have never been lucky in my relationships. I feel so bad about myself, i am the firstborn of my parents and my all my siblings are all married.

Paul: I have been there, done there. Loneliness is real. Before God helped me out of this problem, i have always felt that  am not good enough, i feel so unwanted. My lifestyle  in the past contributed immensely to the problem. But i thank God today that i am very fine and doing ok.

How to step out of loneliness ;
- learn to have fun by developing your social skills’
- learn to be desperate about your passion ( the violent take it force)
- get involved in positive and interesting activities,
- always make good moves,
- loneliness is not the absence of affection but absence of direction,
- Consider others around you apart from your immediate people,
- what can you do to reach out to others ( be a source of happiness to others)
- Showing interest in charity.

Counselling comes up on the 23rd of January @ the Prime Chinese, Plot 806A Bishop Aboyade , Victoria Island.

Ola: I fall into the category of the lonely people. Am always depressed. I have mood swings, absent minded. I am 27 yrs, my relationships havent been working well and a lot of people complain about my attitude. I help others out of their emotional problems but my help to others doesnt work for me. I am too laid back and an indoor person. I suffer from lack of expression.

Mary: There is a thin line between depression and loneliness. Loneliness is a thing of the mind. You can be among a lot of people and still feel lonely.

Omoh: Am a lonely person, i have tried to socialise but i still feel lonely. I am 30 yrs old and not in any relationship. My loneliness comes with my being single, and i get quite touchy when i am in this mood.

Uche: Am 31 yrs old, married with a kid. Being married does not solve your loneliness problem. You have to deal with it yourself and learn to make yourself happy.  If you think someone will cure your loneliness, you will end up infecting that person with loneliness. When you are happy about yourself, then you can transfer this to others. God is the only solution known.

Anon: I am a loner maybe because i am not married and i am 39 yrs old and i am worried about my biological clock.

Types of loneliness:

Intimate isolation; which comes from not having anyone in your life you feel affirms who you are.
Relational isolation; which comes from not having face-to-face contacts that are rewarding.
Collective isolation; which comes from not feeling that you’re part of a group or collective beyond individual existence.

What are the causes of loneliness?
Loneliness does not always make sense, but we can explore the causes of loneliness to attempt an analysis. You can be lonely in a room full of people, at a party for instance. You may feel isolated, as if no-one understands — your partner, friends, parents, and colleagues are not really interested in you. These negative perceptions can play heavily upon your emotions.

Understanding the causes of loneliness and recognizing them is part of the battle when you have a desperate feeling of not having anything to live for. Shifting your focus can be a next to impossible. Unfortunately, too many times reaching for a bottle of pills for release is all too easy Doctors may tell you your loneliness is just a chemical imbalance, this may be true. Have you ever considered that your loneliness might have a spiritual root?

God is always present; He is always with us. He is able to draw us from the miry pit that we are in, and stand our feet on the solid rock. We need to shift our focus from our condition and look to the God that created us for a purpose. He sent His Son Jesus Christ to restore the relationship with us and He can ease the pain of loneliness. By trusting His word and accepting His comfort, we never need to be lonely again.

There are several possible reasons people feel lonely; One is that the person already had that special someone and they left (death, divorce, moved to another area, etc.) Another reason is that a person lacks the social skills to make and form friendships. Such persons might be shy or socially anxious. Yet another reason maybe the culture in which we live. Especially in Western culture, society prides itself on individuality and personal freedom. Successful relationships however require some degree of compromise. Comprise may require encroachment on one’s personal freedom which may not be desired. The end result maybe that you don’t find that special someone simply because that special someone is more of a figment of our imagination than an actual real person. A last final reason for people who are trait lonely and yet looking for that special someone they cannot find, maybe due to the fact that they maybe unwilling to let down their defenses. Usually when people are hurt in the past by people they love, they are more unwilling to be open to love the next time it comes around (“once bitten, twice shy”). However, to be in a relationship requires one to let down some of their defenses and be open to the possibility of being hurt again. Only then can true meaningful relationships form. But being open to love requires time, patience and perhaps “taking things slow.” If you cannot be hurt, then you cannot be loved.Loneliness is described by many as a very painful thing. Helping to know what causes your loneliness will help you get rid of it.

 Always remember to ” Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life”

FANTASY !!!!!…Hmmm…., already lost in thought. When we talk about fantasies the first thing

comes to mind are dirty thoughts and ideas guys and girls have about themselves, like i met a guy who had a fantasy about making love to a pregnant prostitue…how absurd. But really fantasies dont always have to be dirty, like a female friend of mine had a fantasy of getting married in place of work and having a ”keke napep” as her getaway vehicle, now thats far from dirty but it still is a fantasy.

Fantasies could play a vital role in a relationship and at the same time could be quite detrimental not just to the relationship but to the relationship but to the mind (as in the case of my friend and the pregnant prostitute) Sharing of fantasies between couples is a health way of strengthning the bond between them, where the lady feels safe letting her man in on her innermost desires, it brings a feeling of security and trust between them, where as some ladies might feel scared to tell their spouse exactly how she wants to be held and touched, for fear of rejection and being called dirty.

And for the guys, most guys have some very ”nasty” fantasies which they may feel uneasy sharing with thier partner. Bottom line, guys be open with your partners and please LISTEN, i know it’s hard but listen to the ladies, you might even hear what they really feel inside..their true fantasies. Hmmmm ! And ladies, take time to find out what your partner’s fantasies are, it might just make the relationships get more interesting.

Fantasies are also crazy ideas going through minds of individuals, most are usually left unsaid but often thought about. Reality and Fantasy are very close but what marks the difference is the action behind bringing the fantasy into reality. We all have fantasies over a lot of things not necessarily sexual urges but dreams, goals and desires for achievements in life.  But unfortunately, these fantasies which are good usually ends up as pictures in the brain which fades off with time.

 It has always been said that ” Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life “.  Whatever you feed your mind with, that is what it will act on.  I therefore beseech brethren, try as much as possible to feed your heart with all positive things in life because it determines to a large extent what becomes of everyone.

Stay Blessed and stay tuned …………………………………………….

Introduction:

How do we keep our new year resolution?
- make a few resolutions,
- make sure your resolutions allign to eachother,
- get on the wagon,, tell ur friends about it, so they could    correct you when you are going the wrong way
- Keep a diary of your resolutions…..
- be prayerful and keep focus…
- to keep to your resolution,, you have to hate your present    status..
 - also, make a realistic resolution….
- secrets of your future is hidden in your daily routine !!
- reasons men fail is simply because of broken focus !!
- be self disciplined.

Tithes play a major role in our achievements in life. Just a piece of advice, make available every 10% of your monthly income to God. It goes a long way in how you are blessed by the almighty.

                               ************* SHOW LOVE JUST BECAUSE………………..*************

         ***** GUARD YOUR HEART WITH ALL DILIGENCE BECAUSE OUT OF IT FLOWS THE ISSUES OF LIFE *****

Fine, everyone has a right to their own opinion on marriage, no one is a model or standard for marriage. Marriage is a thing that comes with the mind. You can never enjoy your relationship if you are not psychological ready for it.  Marriage is an institution ordained by God and the essence of marriage has been explained in the Bible, it explains, a man ( male/female) should find a partner if he cannot hold his body.  Therefore, if you have control over your sexual urges, you might decide not to marry and vice versa.

Nnamdi (34 yrs old) was a very interesting contributor to tonight’s show, he pointly expressed his reasons for not settling down for marriage. He is single and he enjoys his bachelorhood and he is presently not interested in trading that for any marriage commitments. He expresses his stand on why people imposes marriage on themselves, to him, Life is fun and meant to be enjoyed and also, things must be done one thing after the other. He further says, anyone could say whatever they like about him, but his fact remains that, it is his life and he has the right to live it the way it pleases him.

 We never really examine marriage if it’s something that’s for us. Instead we just assume it’s the natural next step and right and we fall right in line.
Do we get married because we have legitimate, real reasons, or do we do it just because that’s what society, and especially the church, tell us that we should do? If you get down to the heart of the matter, almost everything that one could do inside a marriage, could also be done outside of a marriage, whether in a committed partnership, or in some cases, just a “regular” relationship.
However, that’s a very worldly mindset to have, don’t you agree? God did create marriage. He created it in order that we might perpetuate a Godly legacy through our families and saw that the marriage would be the best means of coming to that end. He did create man and woman to be monogamous, despite what current events and common human behaviors might tell you. We know that a three stranded cord is not easily broken. When those three strands are composed of God, a man, and a woman, each committed to the other wholeheartedly, there is a bond, a covenant that is formed that cannot be broken. That bond is marriage.

Questions to ask yourself before getting involved !
Why do we want to get married?
What do we have in common?
Am i frank with my partner?
How is my partner as a person?
Do i hope to change him/her after marrige?
What purpose or fulfillment would it add to your life that you would not otherwise have?
What things do you feel can only be realized within the context of a marriage?

 ***** Guard Your Heart With All Diligence For Out Of It Flows The Issues Of Life*****

                                            *******HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE*******

Love

Which colour of the skin is Superior ?????

SharingLifeIssues through the inspiring voices of Chaz B & Deola have transformed and helped so many depressed people overcome their life problems to live a happy and positive life.

We are not saying much this time, Listeners, Share with us whats going through your mind and how the SharingLifeIssues show have contributed to your lives .

The increase in workplace romance is not surprising. Several factors of the modern economy have apparently contributed to it. More women are in the workplace than ever. Businesses are demanding longer work hours, resulting in a decline in free time for employees. People working together tend to have similar backgrounds, talents, and goals. And, these days the workplace is a lot safer place to meet someone than a pub or a club house.

Moreover, there are advantages and disadvantages to these act and some of these are discussed below;

Perhaps the biggest advantage is time efficiency, an important factor for most professionals. During an office romance, you don’t have to spend an odd amount of hours after work searching for and wooing the object of your desire. Since you are in an office filled with attractive women, you can start right there and spend your office time both working and romancing. You won’t even have to spend time visiting her at home or picking her up at her place of work since she is right there.

Another advantage is that you don’t have to make much effort to know what kind of person she’s like since you probably already know all about her from spending time with her at work. This is a big advantage that can save guys a lot of major headaches.

The third advantage is a practical one: you can carpool to and from work. You get to sleep together at night and then cut down on your gas expenses by driving together to work.

On the negative side, dating someone from work means that you spend an extraordinary amount of time together, and that’s not an ideal situation for most men. That can be worse than being in a bad marriage. Most men and even some women cherish their time alone to pursue other interests, hang out with friends and the like.

If you are dating a subordinate, you may be accused of favoritism if she gets a promotion or bonus, and this may affect the morale of the entire office.

On the other hand, if she performs badly at work, the prospect of having to fire your girlfriend can be daunting. You may even leave yourself open to accusations of sexual harassment after your breakup.

If the roles are reversed and you are dating your boss, she may be accused of favoritism as a result of your career advancement. Also, how would you feel if your girlfriend actually had to fire you from work? And if things don’t work out between the two of you, you could actually get fired after the breakup.

If you are dating a colleague, things like competition and office politics can cast an ugly shadow over your relationship. It may even affect the way you perform your professional duties.