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Qualities Of A Good Spouse
Introduction: Marriage is an institution ordained by God and it is also the Union between a Man and a Woman. But 
unfortunately, there seems to be decisions and indecisions about the right person to choose as spouse. As a matter of fact, what qualities makes a perfect spouse? This is actually the bone of contention,, and here are some few questions;
What kind of qualities would you look for in your future spouse?
What are the qualities of your ideal spouse?
What makes a spouse marriage material?
The most important decision that bothers most people is who to marry. It takes more than love to make a successful marriage. Choose your spouse carefully.
Red Flags in Your Relationship:
If you realize that there are red flags or problematic issues in your relationship, don’t ignore them or delude yourself into thinking that the red flags aren’t that important or that someone you love will change. It does take more than love to have a successful marriage.
Where is this relationship headed?
If you are currently in a relationship or just dating, the subject of knowing where the relationship is heading often comes up. But the most frequent way this is expressed in relationships is knowing whether or not you are “together” or going to live together or getting engaged or getting married. If you are already married, you may have already faced the question of “what are our goals as a couple?” However, if you haven’t considered goals in the relationship, then perhaps, this may be a good time to contemplate this idea.
Some reasons why relationships go bad;
- If someone is busy with work,
-If there is little or no sex in the relationship,
-If someone has cheated,
-If someone feels as though they are giving more than they are recieving,
-Money issues,
-If someone is constantly lying,
-Ineffective communication especially when one partner does not reciprocate communications,
****** Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life ******
70 Responses to “Qualities Of A Good Spouse”
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ola said on Monday, November 30, 2009, 18:49
i think the man must be God fearing, more inteliigent than i am, have respect for me, and he must be ready to take me for who iam
olatokunbo said on Monday, November 30, 2009, 18:53
God knows that all i need is a role model,a life coach,a motivator,an every day inspiration.chaz b i ave made mistakes and at this point this is all i need.
Yemi said on Monday, November 30, 2009, 18:54
the girl must be repectful and understanding….must be a good friend…and most importantly God fearing
t'Olu said on Monday, November 30, 2009, 19:19
..a man who values me, a man who values God. a man with whom I can share a deep level of intimacy. a man who is my friend. a man who is willing to take all i have to give and give back. a man i can be proud of. a man- the one who was just meant to be for me..that's what i believe my man should be.
Frank said on Monday, November 30, 2009, 19:25
Good day Chaz B my name IS Frank i have always listened to your programme and i have not been able to get through however i love this topic. First of all i want to say like so many have said she has to be God fearing no controversy secondly she has to be physically attractive to me(beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder) and has got to cook well. we must be able to communicate for a long time without being bored or each others gist she has to be a good listener, she has to be mature is her approach to issues, anyway so much for the theories
i want to tell you my story, i statred dating my fiancee in April 2006 we have all the rules and understanding going on but my problem was the distance she stayed at ikorodu and i was in the festac area things were fine untill she went for NYSC and for some days , weeks i would not call this was due to bad network and my very busy schedule at work some how whenever i call she tells me she is not happy that i have not called but tell s me that lots of people call her and am blaming it on network but what got me vexed was when she compared me with someone else and said "he calls me more than you do and….. obviously she had been spending time with him the relationship ended at this point this was in october 2007 and from that time things were never the same …. i didnt find the right help mate as every christian lady was not so christian as i had in her some how in june 2009 we are back and we have done our introduction looking forward to the traditional and white wedding in April 2010… she came back with wisdom and i admire that quality too thank you and God bless
0yenike said on Monday, November 30, 2009, 20:28
Chaz B, you got me thinking tonight. Everyone describes this awesome, wonderful person they want to be with, but none of us single people can confidently say we are that person with unmatched depth of character, unlimited patience, the ability to be calm and communicate thoroughly, to listen without judging, to be Straghtforward and Honest( and probably serve nigeria with all my strenght!), be Godfearing, prayerful, insightful, focussed and bla bla bla in capital bla.
I am going to work on myself to become that person, so when my husband does find me,( poor guy is still searching out there somewhere), he would indeed have found '… a Good Thing'.
sherrif said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 5:38
Hi chaz B, well i'll say the qualities of a good spouse goes beyond cooking and making a good sex partner, before you can say this particular person is my potential soul mate both of you have to be compatible in all ways,which includes having the same beliefs, goals and ambitions,being able to see the future together with one eye this means you have to agree at all times in order to avoid disagremments et all. 1. she must be God-fearing. 2. She must be tolerant and patient. 3. She must be modern and not old skuul. 4.She must be down-to-earth.
teemoney said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 8:00
good @last
the girl must be God fearing,spiritually sound than i do,repectful,i dont like lieing girl and understanding….must be a good friend…
Frances said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 8:44
He has to be God fearing, intelligent, matured in mind, generous. Again he should be good looking, financially balance and hardworking
joules said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 10:06
fine,are you god fearing,
joules said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 10:08
i need a god fearing girl.
Dgoke said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 11:22
nice talk…
Dgoke said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 11:26
It seems we all want the good qualities in our spouse, how many of us can really say we have all the qualities we want in our spouse.
Folly Francis said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 11:48
Chaz B, its a pity that the world we leave in today is full of many that comes in name of I love you, shower so much praises on you that we forget what we are suppose to look at but run after that former and within the relationship we discover a different person all because we fail to do our home work despise the fact that we want this or that , we fail to study this person(s).
For me my spouse must be respectful, honest, God fearing, ambitious, focus, intelligent, free minded, good cook, unlimited patience, good character, give room for communication, calm spirit, caring etc. There are qualities that you can build in your spouse as you guys get on that will make compatibility more strong.
Chioma said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 12:42
I will like a God fearing man, very tall, neat, intelligent and respectful
Akunna said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 13:30
qualities i look out for are: He must be born again,he must have respect and regard for his parents,good height,truthfulness,neat and good dress sense and lively.
Chioma said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 13:50
Chaz B, thank you for this wonderful job your are doing here, God will surely reward you. This is also to thank you for the words of encouragement and counseling you gave to us on saturday, you are a God sent. The man i will like to settle down with must be God fearing first of all, decent in all ramification ( i do not like Vulgarism), he must be responsible, caring, supportive, very intelligent and hardworking.
Tolu said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 14:09
Chaz B, i just tuned in yesterday on my way back from work and discovered that i tuned to the right station. Good work you are doing, more power to your elbow.
For me, the lady I would like to settle down with must be pretty, God-fearing, humble, must be able to cook very well, decent, caring, intelligent and respectful.
Shobowale Olaide said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 14:28
the idea of looking for some particular qualities in our spouse is a good one but i think we should try see the other way that instead of wasting our time looking for those various qualites we should rather spend more time developing ourself by having the right qualites we are looking for in others and make sure we are always on Gods frequency for in this journey marital destiny you never be sure. because likes we always attract like.
good work Uncle Chaz
Onyinye said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 16:31
I totally agree with u.
Ariere said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 17:23
I think most times, we end up being with that person that deep down in our hearts, we can respect,trust, love and build something with that is if we are honest with ourselves.
Segun said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 19:20
For you, I have considered just one quality: "TRUST"
Cheers
MAD said on Tuesday, December 1, 2009, 20:21
For me, my man must love n fear GOD, possess gud values, must respect all (young n old) n b humble, must be able to commuicate constructively, v a gud sense of humour, must be smart n intelligent, must be kind to all n be able to give, must be of an average height. i need a friend/ companion in my man.
All said, i also strive to become a gud n humble woman so as to complement my man anytime anyday…..
princesslizzy said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 6:23
Every quality of a woman is summarised in proverb 31:10-31, who find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubbies.
martins said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 9:01
i would prefer a virtuous woman,a woman dat has the fear of GOD in her,a woman dat can help me in achieving my dreams and aspirations in life,a woman dat is down to earth,a woman dat believes in herself…………………………….
Autobot-Sam said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 9:20
When i hear Y'all say "God fearing"….whsts about???….how does it translate to being a good spouse???….__Well for me……(from experience)….1st this for me to be attracted to her,,,meeen she has got to be soooo fine…i mean, my girl MUST be hot…..THEN….she kinda have to BELIEVE in the same GOD i believe in….i ain't saying that she has to be a "Prayer worrior"….or LIVE & DIE in the church kinda person oh…..Once she IS of my religion, then thats fine,,,,,,The rest…we can work out easily as the relationship progresses AND i agree the SHE can be THE ONE…so….all these plenty GOD Fearing y'all throwing around here…..i really dont know what peeps are talkin' about 'cos in the present Nigeria….CUTTING ACROSS ALL RELIGION….
Autobot-Sam said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 9:21
There is ZERO fear for GOD in the Daily attitude/xracter exibitted by Nigerian,,,educated or not…IBO /HAUSA/ YORUBA….Its in this same country that a DEACON will rob its customers dry of there hard earn money……An IMAM,,,,will sell CEMENT that cost N420 ex factory at N1,800……the list is endless……(sorry for digressing,) just wanted to speak a lil on this GOD FEARING that everyone is screaming hear.
Autobot-Sam said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 9:48
Why not aspire for a partner YOU can make better RATHER than concentrating on YOU YOU YOU?
Autobot-Sam said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 9:49
Not Bad….
Autobot-Sam said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 9:51
You can not have a PHYSICAL relationship with your MOTIVATOR/LIFE COACH & ROLE MODEL
Autobot-Sam said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 9:51
Another GOD FEARER on the loose
Autobot-Sam said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 9:52
Not bad, not bad at all.
chuks said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 10:38
If only we can all work on ourselves…….. The world will be a better place.
Onyx said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 13:21
Dgoke and Shobowale, i quite agree with you both, develop yourself to what you want in your spouse then you’ll attract each other. Most of the times, we marry our opposite in character and qualities at thesame time a lot of people spend their time looking a good spouse when they are not. Ladies, i want you to know that guys has all it takes to deceive so u need to be careful dont look with your physical eyes but your spiritual will guide and direct also. I am a single and you know what i have made a lot of mistakes then i discovered what i thought i wanted is not what i needed in a man. This is another angle we should look at, our wants in our spouse should be distinct from what we need in them. God knows your NEEDS, he knows the man/woman that will compliment you so that is why u need to look with the spiritual eyes.
khoray said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 12:27
most of the qualities needed in a woman i av but it seems not to matter, every guy keeps saying a GOD fearing woman bt r they GOD fearing themselves
anyway for me i want a good looking man who speaks good and fluent english, respectfull, understanding, patience, honest, considerate, a mirror and smone i can call my own so guys if u av all this what r u waiting for
emeka said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 13:32
she must be beautiful (inwardly and outwardly) guess that summarizes every thing.
khemmy said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 14:01
a man of GOD mentioned something recently that the reason GOD said 'he who finds a wife' is just so that when men choose they will not blame GOD for their choice (like adam did) when things start to change, so everyone is at liberty to choose the type of spouse her or she wants, and once u make a decision it is responsibility to stand by it, so choose wisely remember no one is going to live with that choice but u and why even make like miserable for another person just because of ur selfish and unwise decision. ciao
Gerald said on Wednesday, December 2, 2009, 15:03
The Lady must be a terrific communicator, with huge social acumen, adroit, homely, God fearing and romantic …….!
chuks said on Thursday, December 3, 2009, 9:02
Ideally the word for me is GOD FEARING woman because that's wisdom every other thing is secondary.
Someone who is God fearing would live according to the teachings in the Bible. And if that is the case you wont have to worry whether the person is understanding, sincere, patient, submissive, loving tolerant etc.
But unfortunately we are God fearing with our lips and our hearts are far from the Lord.
oluwayomi said on Thursday, December 3, 2009, 10:22
Hi
the topic for this week is more sensitive than any other topic that we might have discuss basically because if one should make a mistake of choosing the wrong person that means that person is doomed for life because no matter how wealthy or civilized that person might be he/she can never be the same again. so rather dwelling on looking for one qualites or the other everyone that fills he/she is getting towards that stage of marriage should start developing that right qualites they want in themselves first and as well to have a good relationship with God for that is the basis and foundation of all.
ifeoma said on Thursday, December 3, 2009, 10:55
He must be a man of valor (in summary)
Jollyade said on Thursday, December 3, 2009, 13:59
Thank God for this Topic Chaz B we are say we want this ,we want that well one can not really say………….but one thing am always praying to God for his that idea man that i was removed from his ribs on that day, above all a God-fearing man that will treat me like himself and adore me,cherish me and take full control of my life as God will direct him.
Jollyade said on Thursday, December 3, 2009, 14:03
i agree with what dgoke said develop oneself and watch out for the best………………………
Shobowale said on Thursday, December 3, 2009, 14:04
beauty should be a secondary thing to look for in a woman because even Jezeebel was beautiful so brother be careful
4lrkmy said on Thursday, December 3, 2009, 16:35
hi chaZ B, am always hooked to ur station 4 ur programme. luv d program
ola said on Thursday, December 3, 2009, 17:16
of course, trust is the basis on which any relationship stands.
IPHY said on Thursday, December 3, 2009, 21:22
my dream husband must undastand d luv of God n den luv Him exceedingly above himself n me, should be focused, matured enough to take decisions and take reponsibilty for his actions and inactions.Marriage isnt 4 boys so he must be ready,mentally and financially……not necessarily bouyant but have a means of livelihood
Ify said on Friday, December 4, 2009, 6:21
Autobot-Sam…. You are always coming from the left….Funny guy.
Never say Never. There cannot be Zero fear for God in this country. There are still so many who love and fear God, who eschew evil. Never mind that they are outnumbered by the ones that infuriate you so. To be God fearing is just what it says it means…knowing God and being aware of him and his presence to the point that you allow what you know to be His will dictate how you live your life. A reverence for God that one allows determine the way you live, relate with God and others. Rare Quality these days but not absent.
When you choose a spouse that fears God, The persons love, reverence and willingness to do as much as is in their power to please God makes it difficult for him/her to resort to many attitudes and behaviours in marriage that make life in many homes unbearable. Thats where God fearing comes into choosing a spouse. No one is perfect, but by Gods grace, we can try.
Teewhy said on Friday, December 4, 2009, 9:50
Hi Chaz B/Deola, i was unable to log into my profile for over a week but thanks to God, it has been sorted out. My ideal kind of husband – Aside from him been God fearing ( which should be one of the key thing as a christian), he must be faithful, always ready to listen to me, always advising, hardworking,able to communicate with me at all times.I don’t expect a perfect person cos i am not perfect; but he must be able to fit in my short comings.
You guys are doing a gr8 job. My God reward your labour of love
Dennis Etu said on Friday, December 4, 2009, 9:07
u r lucky.keep praying to God for more wisdom and understanding.
napoleon said on Friday, December 4, 2009, 11:07
I think the first quality is that she must be God fearing. when that is settled.. inner beauty is develpoed and this pushes out the outer beauty. Even an "ugly" woman can glow, when she has a good heart and inner beauty.
jolade said on Friday, December 4, 2009, 12:46
Good talk Napoleon, i believe this is what every man should ask God for.
kimkuku said on Friday, December 4, 2009, 16:29
for chioma i write;if you must get the kind of man you dream for you also be ready to invest in such a man.find out he already has and do not have, and see what you can do to help him improve to bring outnhim the qualities you desire in a man you want to down with.but if you wait to see those qualities from afar before you say this the man then you may be going for the wrong man.
Debo O said on Saturday, December 5, 2009, 7:33
Hello Chaz B. Almost everybody is looking for "God Fearing" spouse, the question is : Are you yourself God Fearing? if the answer is yes, i think we should have discovered ourselves and there will less hazzle about getting God fearing partner.
As for me getting a life partner goes beyond being a God fearing person, there must be an 'Inner witness' that I'm dating the right person, i must involve God in the decision and there must be a reference alter… so that when that decision is tested.. i can hold God by what He told me at the Alter.
i'm happily married, i'm enjoying my marriage, we dated for 8 yrs and this is the principle i used…. IT REALLY WORKS.
Kaksy said on Saturday, December 5, 2009, 15:37
I think he should be hardworking. i can’t stand lazy guys! should have a good sense of humour too( not too SERIOUS)
olajide david said on Sunday, December 6, 2009, 16:14
hi chaz, i am an addicted listener to your show. thank you for it
Please i think you will have to tell us more about yourself. i want to hear your story
Folashade said on Friday, December 11, 2009, 22:44
I am happy to have a guy that Trust, Understand and love me so much.We are both God fearing and he is like brother, father (advise) and best friend (share my feelings) to me.I can't wait for us to walk down the aisle.
Chima said on Monday, December 14, 2009, 22:25
why can't you have a physical relationship with your role model and life coach?
mercy said on Friday, December 18, 2009, 15:27
the best thing is to pray to God to give you the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh, He loves us so much and wants d best for us, lets align ourselves to the plan of God for our lives.He promised us in the Book of Jeremiah 29 vs 11 says I av a better plan for you to give you hope and a future. God has created each and everyones ordained spouse, all wat u need is to be patient and pray to Him to direct ur spouse ur way. it's well.
vqyuhdre said on Wednesday, December 23, 2009, 1:11
vqyuhdre…
vqyuhdre…
fsilas said on Wednesday, December 30, 2009, 13:33
Hi Chaz B, This is Silas. For the women she has been completely described in Prov. 31 vs 10 – 31which we always refer to as a virturs woman and for the man he has also been talked about in Ephesians 5 vs 25 to the end.The two must also look attractive to each other. For a successful Marriage, they both must be ready to make sarcrifieses for each other. The husband to be, must be ready to drop all bad attitude identify by the wife to be and vice versal and by so doing, they will endup been a good husband and wife.
Helen said on Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 6:37
Chaz B. This is such a wonderful topic. It is interesting that everyone lists the qualities they would like their spouse to possess. I believe if you are everything you describe as the qualities you desire in your spouse, then he/she will find you. However, for me I believe a God fearing man would possess all the qualities desired in my spouse …….!
Helen said on Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 6:39
right on target.
if*da** said on Monday, January 18, 2010, 20:02
Tolu,
If this is u, eh hen….so this is where you've been hiding! I'm your big cousin whom you suddenly refused to call. Call me.
D
Yemio said on Tuesday, January 19, 2010, 21:47
With the passage of time we tend to improve on the kind of qualities we want in our spouse. He must be God fearing (love God and self), a man that will celebrate Christ in me, honor me, a BMW ie Black Man Working,, focused and the list goes on. More importantly if he is not Gods’ choice then its not worth the try.
nudewhenu said on Wednesday, January 20, 2010, 17:40
only God can help us becos to me all human thinkings about marital relatioships have failed, its only God
Soney Omaro said on Saturday, January 30, 2010, 23:57
Wants may be temporary but ur needs are always taken care of when handed over to God
I love the angle from which you came in. God bless you so much.
Bummy said on Tuesday, February 2, 2010, 16:26
Chaz B ,i finally became a member today and am so so so happy.You do a great job nd i get inspired daily.Deola i give you the thumbs too.I pray for a God fearing man and God’s will to perfect every.God bless you both
sallian said on Wednesday, February 3, 2010, 12:16
Y are you all saying i want my spouse to be this to be that,y can't you all work on urself to be wat you want in a spouse………………n stop sayin she must be this he must be that…………work on yourself too.
andrea said on Friday, February 5, 2010, 20:01
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, God fearing, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife
God All i ask is to marry MY wife.