Comments on: Time Wasters In Relationships

By: inikpi

inikpi — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 17:56:55 +0000

Hi chaz B ,the truth is,the red flag always comes,but ladies would want to shy away from realities in this regard.I was invoived with a guy based abroad who turned out to be a time waster,he never proposed,though kept emphasing the fact that our relationship was at commitment level,i initiate the calls and dont get any gift from him each time he visits which is usually once in a year,along the line,i came up with an idea of making him believe i had other suitors ,to make him define the relation,his response was shocking,"i won't want to say any thing about that he replied"i read in between the lines and moved on.Ini

By: annonymous

annonymous — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 03:53:12 +0000

I was suppossed to stay with my female friend for a few short while before sorting out my place but i still felt that his place will better. Afterall we an talk but nothing more. i believe in NO SEX B4 marriage and i had told him that. I dont know what happenned but i became sooooooooo weak and compromised big time. SHAME ON ME!!!! We wwent over to his Mum's to pick something and he said to her "meet my girlfriend" when we left he asked if it was okay by me. I was vexed and he knew it cos we didnt have any re union boyfriend girlfriend talk b4 taking me to Mama but judging by my closeness and compromise and some sacrifices from him i said "of course its okay by me". H stumbled on wht i had written on my broken emotions when he disrespected me and did differnt stuffs with diferent girls. 'he had always thought that i was ashamed of him, why??? i dunno. Anyway he apologised so much on a certain nite. When i asked why, he said that now he knows how much he has hurt me. I m back to this guy for no apparent reason but laziness, He wants me so much for some reasons that i know. During my 3 months plus stay, he made sure that i was comfortable at my place and would visit regularly. that got me used to him again but the trust has been broken. I dont trust him much, i m not crazy about him, my hearrt does not quiver in his sight or at his thought. I do not see myself marrying him and i m back again. He wants to tie the knot with me so fast, i have told him that i will most probably not marry him and he understands and shares my reasons concerning my past experience with him and fear of future happenings.
How do i tell him that we have to quit since there s no future. i never hid my intentions of 95% chance of not marrying him. I want the best for him and would like to see him happy. i think he doesnt deserve me now cos my heart is sooo cold, locked up and protective. I dont trust him like i should. he is hoping that one day my heart will open up.

How do i handle this Chaz B??? I want out. He is doing everything nice in the world to make me happy, and doesnt mind my new cold attitude. Though i have forced myself several times, i do not feel love anywhere in my heart for him. I m not holding grudges. i just cant seem to get excited about anything that has to do with us. He prays that i trust him again and says that to me. I dont want to hurt him but i m hurting myself and him by staying longer in the r/ship especially as he cant wait to get married. Regardless of these other issues, we are not compatible.We are not just compatible. I dont think i shd break it up again on the phone. One of the main distractions is getting married and i feel that part of the reason that he s putting so much into us is bcos sh s getting hooked amongst other reasons. My friends think i m being crazy that i should walk out and let other people into my life. Please advise me on what to do and how to handle it. God bless you!!

By: ANNONYMOUS

ANNONYMOUS — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 03:49:56 +0000

Hello Chaz B,

I must say that your show has truly been an eye opener on certain issues. I had tried to call in during the show several times but i never had the luck to get through. I m a female and judging myself from a neutral view, i m wasting the time of my boyfriend. Its a long story but i ll start from somewhere. I m sooooo guilty of this!!!
We have been together for a year plus. We were best buddies and decided to take it to the next level thinking the same friendship will apply. We had an extremely rocky time and he had flings during our relationship which was barely 2 months until i discovered his various girls with various stories. that was not the only problem, he came over to spend xmas and new year with me and he kept making extremely long calls to a particular girl while sitting with me in the same room and laughin so hard. He apologised n said that he wanted to make me feel bad cos i never bow to negative pressure. My heart felt like it was sawed. but i kept a strong face.
Before i prayed too hard about us, i already had 2 solid dreams that were revelations about him. I also lacked inner peace so i told him about my dreams and in essence i know God was speaking to me to let go.
Chaz B, i found it sooooooo difficult to let go. Later, on another occassion, he told me that in other to cover up for a female friend(they had sexual history) at church who wanted to get another man that accussed her of promise to marry off her back , he asked her to submit his name at her church saying that they wre engaged. Again i was SHOCKED!!!
I knew that i was not in love with this guy, no trust, i do not look up to him(i dont show it to him though), he does not inspire me, physically and spiritually, even academically. I told him on the phone that i wanted out. We cried a lot. I was pained bcos i couldnt understand what i had done to deserve the ill treatment and lack of respect from him. I cried for the friendship(i value deep and open friendship to the extent that i teach how to understand my way of thinking. I feel good knowing that someone can say, this is what i can or cannot do) Anyway, he beggged and begged and i stood on my grounds. I had been planning to come back home to work for 3 months. We had both looked forward to it cos we ll get to experience the relatiop on ground not on phone. I was broke and didnt want to call home for money. One day he called and said that he had been a part of my coming home plan so he ll send me money that i ll refund part of after selling the stuff i wanted to buy. I said ok. I needed it, i didnt ask, it was too late to change my 3 month plan co i had gotten a placement with a Company. Now this is where i messed up…

By: angie

angie — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 15:57:06 +0000

all the excuse for me to come to UK was just a lie.

By: angie

angie — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 14:44:37 +0000

MY NAME IS OZIEGBE. Well the end has finally come, within two month he said he said he has found a wife, and right now, his in Naija , didnt know all this while that he has a chating friend dat he want to marry, now they are in the village together. my 6yrs has become a wast………..it has not been really easy…i just believe in God that my ending will be grater than my beginning….back to the market….how do one start again….with God there’s always a way…..his the God of all posibility…ppl keep saying read light, sometimes there’s no red light. is the truth.

By: perence

perence — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 10:30:59 +0000

He told my family not to worry that his pple would come arud, but guess wat? they never did…. after a while he became withdrawn and he even stopped calling. Eventually he told me he didnt think he could go on with the whole thing that he wanted call off the engagement, and that was it. I cried i felt my whole world was coming to an end, but i thank God for being God, and i also thank him for my job. I threw myself into work. Its been two years now i have gotten over it but i have not had a relationship since then. I am 31 now i am even getting worried all i can think of is how i wasted the better part of my eligible life on him…………………. is there hope for me i seem to be the only single gal of my age arud my life where did i go wrong?

By: Perence

Perence — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 10:30:14 +0000

I was in a relationship for four year, after three years together we got engaged, he took me to his family and they said to me that they dont like pple from my place that they have had several bad experiences with my pple. Initially i thought it was one of the marriage challenges that would blow thru…… but the persisted, My fiancee insisted and even came as far as coming to see my pple and asking for my hand in marraige.
He came with his cousin and a couple of friends.

By: mary

mary — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 00:00:27 +0000

Holuphuke
yes, you are right about the fact that a man who wants you would never do anything to hurt you.

no matter how much you have been hurt, dont give up on love. true love still exists, it s just scare (l guess?)
l still believe in love anyway.

if a man is already showing some negative signs just walk away, dont think he's going to change. save the extra weeks/months/years waiting for him to change to do something else more beneficial.

notice a lot of ladies give up on their social lives, refuse to take care of themselves, not eat or sleep well and waste time worrying or talking about a guy who does not give a hoot about them. its pointless.
its hard to realize this on time until a lot of time has been wasted already. however, if u r in this situation, just be brave to call it quits and pray to God to bring your bone of your bones.
x.
mary

By: nene

nene — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 21:24:13 +0000

time wasters are all around us!if it happens to you cry if you have but please move on!am talking from experience!good luck guys!and to you chaz B weldone! you are good!say hi to Deola for me!

By: joules

joules — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:45:06 +0000

such is life,b4 jumping into any relationship,pls let us try and know the botton line