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Infidelity In Marriage, Who Is To Blame?
Is it really over when cheating spouses are in love with other men/women? Have you ever wondered what makes cheating spouses cheat in the first place? They certainly didn’t get married with the intention of being unfaithful to their spouse, so why did they do it?. It is fairly common for complex cheating spouses to give up on a relationship the moment things start to become a little difficult.
Rather than admitting and accepting that there is a problem in their marriage, they look for someone else to fulfil their needs. These needs could be anything from a physical connection to strictly intellectual relations leading to an emotional affair. Affairs take place because one spouse’s needs are no longer met by their partner. Cheating spouses are attracted to someone else who will (temporarily or permanently) meet their needs. Spouses cheat because of problems in their relationship because something is missing, passion is no more there, partner is feeling lonely, people find someone who treats them better or appreciates them more than their current spouse.
Phone Comments:
Arizona: Some husbands are too busy to give attentions to their wives, everything is not about money, but these women have feelings too and when their husband is not available to satisfy their emotional needs or physical needs, they therefore go out to have affairs with other men like their drivers, gate men or some guys in their neighbourhood. Men must create time for their wives to make them feel important and loved.
Ade: I don’t agree with Arizona, because the husbands are not available is not a reason for women to cheat on their men. The truth is that any woman or man involved in such acts already has the tendency to cheat even before marriage. Women that cheats on their husbands are simply a bad woman.
Obi: Some women cheat on their men just to get back at their men. All in the intention to pay them back in their own coins. A friend of mine cheated on her husband and said she felt better doing it.
Peter: A lady with dignity wouldn’t indulge herself in such act.
Goddy: Some women cheat on their husband because they cant take proper care of them.
Kemi: Am cheating on my husband and i am still going to keep cheating on him. You might want to ask me why,, well, the marriage was an arranged thing, i was never in love with this guy, my parents imposed him on me for some reasons best known to them. But i have a man i was dating before the marriage and he is actually the one i am with. My husband is never around, he doesn’t treat me like a wife, he doesnt make love to me,, so what do you expect me to do? I have to find my own happiness. I would have divorced him if not for my parents. I once got pregnant for him, but got rid of it without his knowledge.
Evelyn: I am passing this comment on kemi’s issue. You can’t be in a relationship if you are not in love with the man you are married to. I will suggest she breaks up with the man for her to be completely happy. Marriage is not supposed to be a do or die affair.
Tony: No one should blame kemi for no reason. I had a similar problem too, i dated a married woman and things got really ugly between the husband, the wife and myself. It was the grace of God that saved me.
Joy: I applaude Kemi for her courage to publicly declare that she is cheating on her man. Lots of women suffer in marriages because they lack inadequate counselling on marriage before getting married.
Ogon (not real name): I am a relationship with no happiness. Am married with 3 kids, and for over 6 months now, i have been considering cheating on my man. He cheats on me and doesn’t care about how i feel. He doesn’t care about me and the kids, if not that i have a well paying job, i wouldn’t have been able to take care of myself and cater for the kids. I have feelings too, and i have no one to satisfy my own feelings.
Anonymous: Am married with 2 kids, and am considering cheating on my man.
Chaz B: When your marriage is not working, does cheating on your man solves the problem?
Anonymous: Its not so, but women are emotional and we need someone to satisfy the emotional desires. Well i have myself to blame in this relationship. I know this man well enough before i got married to him. I am more like a prisoner in my own house, i can’t go out, admit visitors. I feel so used and wasted.
Anonym (male): I have been married for 17 months now but i have a problem with my wife. She is just a pain in the butt, she doesn’t give me happiness at all. My point is that, it is not only men that makes women cheat in a relationship, women are responsible too.
Francis: Some ladies are sex freaks and would get down with any man that is sex appealing to them, so are some guys also.
Femi: Could be as a result of upbringing of individuals.
******COUNSELLING IS COMING UP THIS SATURDAY… call in for details on this number 0813900900******
1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Hebrews 13:4.
**** Guard your heart with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life ****
23/10/09 Phone logs;( In the House was a Pastor and a Lawyer)
Brown Sugar: I am not married and i don’t want divorce when am married. But does the pre-nuptial thing works in Nigeria.
Lawyer: The pre-nuptial act is the western thing, but it is gradually finding its way into our cultural values in Nigeria.
Eyitoyo: I express sympathy for women caught in this web. Women are beginning to see things differently, take for instance, the lady Sugar Brown above. We have lost our traditional values and not cultivating the western values. I will advice our women to stay connected to God. If you are not satisfied in your relationship, instead of cheating, you should just call it quit.
Basirat: My husband after a marriage of over 21 years comes home just to tell me he wants a divorce without any good reason. He hasnt ever complained of anything. Please, what do you think could be responsible for this?
Lawyer: I think this is a family problem or individual differences. You should try to sit him down and talk things out with him.
Anonymous: How come is it that when it is the Woman caught cheating, the Men would want divorce but when the Man is caught cheating, he wouldn’t suggest divorce. I am going through divorce right now. This is not about christianity but emotional abuse.
Chaz B: Children from divorced homes are likely to exhibit the following characteristics;
Academic frustrations , Agressiveness , Pre- marital affairs, Problem with authorities, Low self esteem and so on,
Lawyer: Marriage is a union between a man and a woman coming together to live as husband and wife. Break up is allowed in a marriage if there are in-reconciable matters. But think twice because of its effects on the kids.
Obi: I am married with 4 kids but i am very unhappy. I have been married for 14 years now and my husband had abandoned me for 10 years now. Its so hard for me with the 4 kids, fine i got married very early. I am confused, i don’t know what to do and divorce is not an option for me.
Anonymous 2: How long can one wait to admit divorce? What does the bible say about divorce?. My husband has been away for 2 years now with his girlfriend. We are married both legally and in church, I want to know what the church and the court says about divorce and on what ground can divorce be admitted.
**** Most women get married for wrong reasons and for selfish gains and that is why there are so many complications in marriages. Materialism has bitten so hard into our women.
Tope: I am married for 13 years and am happy though i have issues am dealing with privately and i am not considering divorce. Marriage is very complicated, it is full of ups and downs. All married people should stand up to their responsibilities and everything would be fine.
People should just remain single instead of cheating in their marriages.
Counselling starts 12pm tomorrow at the Amazing Plaza, ligali ayorinde street.
46 Responses to “Infidelity In Marriage, Who Is To Blame?”
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diva11 said on Thursday, October 22, 2009, 11:02
extra marital affair doesnt need throwing blame on any of the spouses. the blame is on both of them. If either of them feels that he or she is not getting wat he or she expects of the spouse, they should sit themselves down and try to resolve, talk it out, if it doesnt work, they better go 4 counselling but wat am sure of is having an extra marital affair doesnt provide the solution to the problem faced at home cos it will still b there when he or she gets home then what? just turn it all over to GOD.
@peter wat of a guy with dignity?
@anonymous please try and reconsider over cheating on ur man.
mobby said on Thursday, October 22, 2009, 12:08
The rate of infidelity is realy high that they do it as if its a trend. most of these women cant just stay with their hubby, they say life is abt variety.we really need Divine intervention on this important matter.
abayomi-o said on Thursday, October 22, 2009, 11:42
there are some people that l no they can do without cheating on there spouses l believe God will touch them.
Olanrewaju said on Thursday, October 22, 2009, 12:05
Mobby,its not only women that cheats on their spouses but men too are guilty of the offence.It would really take the grace of God to stop this ugly trend in our society.If spouses are cheating on eachother what will their children be learning from them; the children when they grow up will see such as a normal thing since one of their parents was involved in such act and this goes on from generation to generation.
am a victim of such acts and honestly it wasn't easy growing up but thank God for His grace as my mom was able to make headway in life and take care of her children and we all are very successful individuals in our various fields / professions. God will help us all as it takes the grace of God and commitments from every individual in the society to be a role model and not cheat on their spouses.
feodufuwa said on Thursday, October 22, 2009, 13:56
Chaz B, it is very sad to hear the heart bit of Kemi and others yesterday. I want to believe that parents were listening as well and they should pls be very careful in bethroning their children to their friend’s children because of financial interest. The purpose of marriage is not for financial gain but procreation, emotional satisfaction & dominating as commanded by the Almighty God. All said and done i want Kemi especially to return to God and pray that God should rebuild her marriage. Why do i say this because i know very well that the only solution to any faulty foundation is prayer and within a short time there will be changes in her marriage
Oby said on Thursday, October 22, 2009, 14:41
Chaz B, how about a woman who got married at the early age of 18 bcos she really loves the guy and wanted a family but her husband left her with 4 kids 10 yrs ago to search for greener pastures abroad. He has never visited since then, but her heart is still with him and despite all entreaties to him to come back home he has refused. She has this burning ache and hunger in her that has refused to go away and she can't seem to find solace anywhere. She is beautiful and attractive and sometimes get the attention of other men, she is tempted to do it bcos sometimes she feels her youth is gone and she did not enjoy it, most especially the companionship, but anytime she considers it, she thinks of her husband and can not continue, she feels she is in bondage and her life draining away. What can she do, is divorce allowed here, the thought of which makes her cry bcos of the children and her love for one family or is "cheating" allowed. Pls advise bcos I'm losing my mind.
christy said on Thursday, October 22, 2009, 15:13
hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, quite interesting chaz b, what of a woman that not cheating and the husband asked her to go because his family said she is not good for him after 4 kids. how about that?
bernie said on Thursday, October 22, 2009, 16:08
sorry! i missed the show yesterday. ok! ChazB dis online forum tink dey make sense die cos i can followup on stuff. nice discuss but who is not to blame? Both parties shuld share the blame.
Derrick said on Thursday, October 22, 2009, 17:43
my humble opinion is that there is no need to cast blames on any body because at any given time what ever we do or do not do is based on the choices we make as a person. the issue of cheating in a relationship does not have any justifiable excuse because howsoever beautiful the reason could appear it is not justified. i am yet to see that challenge that is difficult for God to address, He is pleased always to help us why not go to Him for that assistance. to a great extent i believe we men have a greater responsibility in loving our partners as the weaker vessels to the extent of Christ's love for the church, pamper them as if our lifes depend on them. Then for our beautiful wifes,women and partners you are our helper dont stop helping us, remember you have the ability to bring out the best in men, dont allow your love for your partners to wax cold. keep praying to God for wisdom and direction and keep loving your men.
Honey said on Thursday, October 22, 2009, 19:48
Cheating is an extremely emotive issue. I was recently quite hurt by my husband's actions but I made up my mind to pray, stay positive and consciously keep my heart and mind occupied rather than dwell on the situation. We are both committed christians by the way. Cheating from either spouse will never resolve any issue. Of course it is easy to be sensible when one is not hurting but to all my sisters out there I say 'Hold on and don't be frightened. The Lord is on your side.' A physical encounter lasts for 3 mins, your heart could hurt forever.
Hang in there
Sope said on Thursday, October 22, 2009, 20:12
two wrongs do not make a right. its never easy and my heart reaches out to all those in hurtful marriages. but re… our commitment is to God first and He desires us to be holy. Grace dear, it takes grace to live this life… stay positive. i think it all bores down to personal integrity and families should watch the morals in their homes.
its well
ify said on Friday, October 23, 2009, 4:42
oby, are you a believer? is your husband one? if he was a believer, i dont think he would abandon his family. are you in touch with him? if you are not a believer, step 1 is give your life to Christ, then commit ths issue to God. the bible says, 'if the unbelieving departs, let him depart. in such cases you are not bound'. however, if your love for him remains strong and you feel led to wait for him, my sis, with God nothing shall be impossible. cheatng here is not an option. it cuts you off from the grace of God.
Efosa said on Friday, October 23, 2009, 13:50
My God this is crayz i just don’t want to belive it.
Dum said on Friday, October 23, 2009, 16:36
Hey Chaz, on the last Topic of Infidelity by women in marriages, I think it goes both ways but let it be known that fidelity is a personality trait, if you don’t have it time will tell.
We have to learn to choose wisely and act nicely!
There are women whose husbands are he -devils and they remained faithful till either the man changes, dies or gets a divorce (if you can’t deal with it or your life is at risk = HIV). The Lord is your strenght but men can be stubid you know.
Fidelity is a personal decison to be dependable and faithtful to your partner in marriage no matter the situation( for better for worse, your husband’s misbehavior is not an excuse. So continue to be faithful with caution and pray for him, am very sure he will turn around with time. Don’t try to get even by grabbing booty girl! it never turns out well. Two wrongs has never made a right!
I want to prescribe a movie : “Fireproof” Its a must watch for every couple. Trust me. It really takes 100% from each partner to hold a home not the shared 50-50. You need to hold forthfor the ailing partner , if you can’t. Please walk away.
kanni said on Saturday, October 24, 2009, 23:20
we have to pray for our marriages and all ailing marriages that God should them because He is the only One that can cause a change in our lifes
kanni said on Saturday, October 24, 2009, 22:50
Oby, my heart goes out to you. one thing will I assure you of – GOD will never let you down. Do not thing of cheating, or divorce. God wil make all things beautiful for you in His time, He will give you double for your trouble. Keep bringing up your children in the way and fear of God. Whatever you are doing for a living put in your effort and God will prosper you. Wait upon the Lord you will not be too old by the time God answers you, you will still be youthful in the eyes of your husband. God is trying your faithfulness and steadfastness in Him. Oby, God will 'approve' you in due season.
Muyiwa said on Monday, October 26, 2009, 9:58
This is rubbish…there's no reason under heaven or above to be used as an excuse for spouse to cheat on each other…it's the worst thing that can happen to any relationship as far as I'm concerned.
If there's any reason for argument or misunderstanding in a relationship, the duo should sit themselves down and have a serious discussion and take a decision…a positive one…in a situation that the differences are unresolvable, they should peacefully go their different ways rather than to resort to cheating…it is bad, it is bad, PERIOD
Onyx said on Monday, October 26, 2009, 11:10
This thing called ‘MARRIAGE’ is really funny! I am a single and listening to all these and some experiences i have around me i tend to pause and ask myself if it is really necessary to get married. It’s scary, if after marriage one can’t boast of joy around her. I think men should pause and have a rethink before taking the vow and women also should be prayerful and patient before saying ‘I DO’. A lot of ladies are always in rush to get into marriage and before u know it they are enduring the marriage instead of enjoying it. GOD WILL HELP EVERYONE AND PLEASE DON’T DISCOURAGE THOSE OF US THAT ARE SINGLE LOOKING FORWARD TO A BLISSFUL MARRIAGE.
toluwase said on Monday, October 26, 2009, 11:19
Its just so sad, these cases of problems in all these married couples really scares me and i just feel is the stress worth it at times. i think am better off now than incur unnecessary wahala…Thank God am single
Toluzbaba said on Monday, October 26, 2009, 10:27
Its so sad, can't imagine married couples are going thru all ds days, I think am better off on my own. thank God am single but my problem is why can't these present couples of now-a-days try in their marriages. It wasn't also 100% rosy with our parents but they tried. The ones out there are not just ready to try, they say they have irreconcilable differences though some have very sad experiences and i feel emotional for them but there are some that are not just ready to make it work. The devil's prime work out there now is to break marriages. Thank God am single, meeeeehhhhnnnn, am going to take my time o before all these wahala
Jydewalker said on Monday, October 26, 2009, 11:49
How I wish this infidelity thing does not happen. That all couples will live together in harmony, not having any choice of sleeping around with other sex apart from your spouse.
midow171 said on Monday, October 26, 2009, 13:40
hmmmmmmm, I pray that God in infinity mercy will heal all marriages that are passing through difficulties in Jesus name (amen)
mmalove said on Monday, October 26, 2009, 15:00
Hello chaz b,
Wat i will say is this every marriage has its ups and down, but i believe one thing very strongly. if marry in d perfect will of God no matter the situation both of you will overcome, and also so many nigerian men get married because the want to have chlidren, in the name that d want their name to remain, which is not true, the bible says chlidren are gift from God. So no one is to be blame when it comes to infidelity, mostly the woman is always to be blame an treaten. I pray that God will grant wisdom all the couple who are going through this problem and strenght them. Love is the strongest word on the face of the earth. Love him or her the more. God bless you all, also chaz B
Ify said on Tuesday, October 27, 2009, 1:01
Tolu , Onyx and other singles out there, theres no need to be worried about whether you will have to endure or enjoy marriage. Marriage is a blessing from God and can be thoroughly enjoyed. It depends on you and how you choose your spouse. Most importantly PRAYERS! The power of it should not be underestimated- before you marry and after. For every one marriage you see or hear about where there is infidelity, there are a dozen more where the partners are faithful to each other. Elijah told God that he was the only prophet left in the land and God said no, I have 700 others that have not bowed their knees. That is it . There are many marriages out there that have not 'bowed thier knees'. Determine to make yours one of them. It can be done and is already being done. Marriage is honourable in all!
wole0404 said on Tuesday, October 27, 2009, 12:25
Found out my wife was dating her boss, she work in the bank ,l eventually caught her after like four months of the relationship and she confess to it, even to having sex wuth him in an hotel in a very odd hour of the day. a monday morning . Though am sticking to my marriage ,but tommorow is scaring me.She honestly has no good reason when l asked her. The funny thing was that she prayed that very morning and said she loved me and four hrs after she was iin an hotel having sex. She said that was the first time. am trying to get over it and God is helping me.
mmalove said on Tuesday, October 27, 2009, 14:59
This mail is for wole 404, I know how u feel right now, but u hv to take courage an face the situation, findout what is making her act this way, both of you should sit down an discuss the issues, i advise you to do more of listening to her, an talk few words. I don’t know if both of you are bornagain, i mean if Jesus Christ is the Lords of your life, if not i advise to invite into your home, cos that is first of healing the wound. Lastly spend more time with her, shower her with love, cos if she can confess to you and means she turely loves you. This is not the time for blames, it is a time both of you have to seriously seek the face of God, and if both of you have kids, please i beg the man for the sake of those kids don’t send her packing, cos u are both to destroy those children future. I know what she has done is very bad in d eye of God and Man, let me ask this turthful question, if you were the one cut in that act, do you think she will forgive u. remember what made you say i do to her. Be storng and tk courage my brother.
mmalove
dele said on Tuesday, October 27, 2009, 23:28
Wole o! I have no words for you than be strong and ask the Lord for guidance. I pray for you that God will heal your home.
wole0404 said on Tuesday, November 3, 2009, 9:42
Thanks Dele and mmalove, If l say is easy am lying,it has affected my sex life,l hadly get in the mood even if l do, l get flashes of the man and her and instantly will go cold,it happens frequently. The why? too is honestly hurting me. Am getting closer to her ,but funny enough l was never far from her before. l need prayer to carry on, can’t look at her ,would just get pissed off and even lose appertite if am eating. Thanks i appriciate your concerns.
Star said on Thursday, November 5, 2009, 16:07
I agree with Peter on this, though its by the grace of God. Yes but children from divorced homes tend to posses some of the qualities enumerated above by Chaz B, but at times not. It depends on the individual child concerned . Although they are really victims of their parents because most times, they live with the trauma all through their lives and are scared of getting married.
delaso said on Friday, November 6, 2009, 19:25
I think marriage is overrated.Like everything we do in Africa we loose touch with its true essence .Friendship, companionship, love…. Its not compulsory to get married society has made it seem so. Marriage is tons of commitment , hard work and if you are lucky neither of you dies until you go gray then you can reap the fruit of your labor its like investment in shares .I regret getting married when i did, because now i know i wasn't ready.But after all we are all work in progress.@kemi or anybody with issues you can choose to work it out or not to LOVE is CHOICE, LIFE IS CHOICE GOD IS LOVE and HE IS LIFE.
cece said on Friday, November 13, 2009, 13:29
This infidelity of a thing is really something else. I guess holding your partner/spouse with strong prayers,love & care will minimize the problem.
Bee said on Sunday, November 22, 2009, 0:33
Where do you guys get this information about children from divorced home from sef? I grew up in one and I have never been upstaged by a child from a 'complete' home. In fact I never understood why so many were freeloading on my mum. In boarding school, you couldn't tell which child was from a single parent family from their grades, behaviour or dressing. What you could tell was which kids came from poor homes and unloved parents.
I spent so much time talking to other girls who were traumatised by witnessing the beatings and hostilities between their parents that they were really unhappy. I had a stress free upbringing and didnt live in fear of an overbearing dad returning home from work.
I can think of at least a hundred children from divorced homes who didnt exhibit any of those traits so there must be another quality in the parents thats responsible for the problems like clinically depressed parent, uneducated parent, resentful parents, poor parents, single parents who have no support from their families etc
sammy said on Wednesday, December 23, 2009, 19:21
U dont blame al men 4 their act cos most women ar the cos of this problems,dis my reason 4 sayin dis i'm 26years old married wit a baby i luv so much but my wife d mother of dat baby is always getting me mad by doing dis things forgetin i'm stil very young nd ladies ar after me .she dresses any how ie opening her boobs nd some other i dont care i own my husband atitudes forgeting dat she ve a child already nd d boobs ar no longer d same ,so women dis one thing to look into try make urslf dat same lady he met nd was begging pls marry me try this it works i'm no longer havin pros wit mine since i told her her body is just like dat of a 18year old lady .
fsilas said on Wednesday, December 30, 2009, 11:02
Both the wife and the husband is to blame. infidelity is influenced by different kind of things ranging from inability of the man to give his wife sexual satisfaction, the wife looking beyond the provisional ability of the husband which make her fall to financial decit of the other party outside, The man not being able to provide for the home. Remember that this provision is not finiancial provision alon, but Emosional, Spiritual, Talking decision when needed, Standing up to Chalenges faced by the family, Leading the way for the Family to go. which makes the wife have confidence in her man and also place him high. Some wife, when married also relax and dress very shabily consequently making the man to look out side.
Therefore, if they both have married each other as a very good friends and not the Dady, Mummy thing, they will be able to talk about anything and everything and when these discusions are done they sould both accept where they are wrong and try to inprove on them.
by so doing infidelity will be out of it completly.
hendan said on Thursday, January 14, 2010, 16:14
The cheater is to blame. for nor reason should a man/woman cheat on each other. but i think the number of men that cheat are more than the women. i know many women that dont like sex again after children.
Ron said on Tuesday, February 2, 2010, 16:04
Hi Chaz B, Hmmmm dis is a very sensitive subject and i feel dere is more that meets the eye. Be it as it many dere’s np reason to cheat on each other be it in a relationship or in marriage. I av read alot of cooments above and il say everyone has spoken some measure of truth. On a personal note and to be honest with ourselves does cheating solve the problem. When God created marriage he had good intensions not for us to cheat on one anoda wen r chips r down. Il rada say no matter what jst like alot of pple av commented…WITH GOD NOTHING SHALL BE IMPOSSIBLE God did not create marriage for divorce or for cheating..he created marriage for love, companionship,friendship and alot more..so to all dose out dere hurting from pain in deir marrriages il say go to God as he is calling “COME UNTO ME ALL YE WHO R HEAVY LADEN AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST”
LoveNotes: until I got married, my life didn’t have a direction « My Pen and My Paper said on Monday, March 1, 2010, 9:49
[...] I remembered some tales of woe I heard during several editions of ‘92.3’s Chaz B’s Sharing Life issues, for example: Infidelity in Marriage, who is to blame? [...]
Adedayo said on Thursday, March 4, 2010, 1:19
you know, my marriage is not yet up to a year, but everytime I have an arguement with my wife, I think of getting a girl outside. Butthe truth is i have made up my mind never to ever cheat on my wife, and I quickly get rid of the thought.
thank God for my wise counsel, I now know that as the man, I have a responsibility to ensure that my marriage is in good condition, no matter what.
I have thought of what i would do if my wife cheats on me, and the fact is that I have made up my mind that i wouldn't let it destroy marriage.
However, in light of this, i make sure that i make my wife happy as much as I can. she's a Godly person, and I see it as my duty to protect her from feeling justified by any action of mine.
I know human Love can turn sour, but God's love is everlasting.
The problem is putting it in practice.
Blessing said on Thursday, April 8, 2010, 7:58
Am 32year old, am in love with a guy of 30year old. After 3year of relationship, he said he want to go back to school and he just got a good job that he decided to sign a contract with them for 4year. What i do?because i truly love this guy.
oluwafunmilayo said on Friday, April 9, 2010, 8:43
Hi chazb you know the problem people have is that they refuse to tell them self the truth both men and women,we go to church everday,we hear peopes experience,we listen to programme like yours but we refuse to tell ourselve the truth,you should learn from your enviroment and be determined that their some things that we wont do and lets see if our marriages will work or not.
Scorpi said on Friday, June 18, 2010, 0:04
well i just think that its different strokes for different folks. Im single and i know its not cumpolsury to get married. Many people get married for the wrongest of reasons and regret it later. People change after marriage because all the pretense is gone but ill say this. what ever you wont ordinarily condone when in a relationship or about entering one dont let it spread to your marriage. we sometimes see a lady who has a boyfriend who occasionally slaps her around, and she doesnt stop him from doing it again what makes her think he would change with marriage. Especially women they just act desperate to settle down because "oh! all my mates are getting married", dear it may just not be your turn yet.
scorpi said on Friday, June 18, 2010, 0:13
cheating occurs when there we allow ourselves to become tempted. i have had various encounters with married men and though i havent allowed the temptation to get the better side of me i sometimes i see it as the wifes fault. They know that there are many desperate ladies out there and yet we see young wives that cant cook for their husbands of those that travel constantly knowing the type of husbands they have. Other times i just think that men feel the need to think they are young again which some people call the MID AGE CRISES, it makes them chase after youger women who rub their tummies and tell them their balding heads still look handsome while extracting all they can from their pockets. i just wish men can communicate more with their women and not always keep secrets or how they really feel. A good woman would understand you and would always no matter what try her best to do what she can to make you feel good. After THE DOCTORS say thats why WOMEN can fake an ORGASM to make their men feel good with themselves. men need to put some more effort.
Aisha said on Monday, June 21, 2010, 12:15
my opinion on this is that most marriages are based on the wrong foundation.either age pressure,status n titles,material wealth,getting married without having any inner conviction(u r nt even sure of the step u r about to take even a week to ur wedding) etc marriages r bound to have challenges two diff. ppl leaving together forever is no joke! but geniune love n the foundation of God will see u thru.no matter wat u going thru just have patience n pray ur way thru.CHEATING is never n will never be a solution to any problem in a marriage.if it is an infidelity case or something u r really convinced you can never live with is better u opt out n get a divorce.but sincerely, sometimes we invite problems ourselves.may God help us all with our marriages.
Aisha said on Monday, June 21, 2010, 12:15
chaz b im really grateful for this work of urs u hv inspired me in so many ways.may Almighty God continue to bless you(AMEN).
Yahoo Healthy News said on Sunday, July 18, 2010, 5:03
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Anonymous said on Wednesday, July 28, 2010, 15:44
The cheater is to blame..completely.
I have absolutely no patience for people who cheat and then arm themselves with all sorts of excuses in self delusion. The bible says a wise woman builds her house, our parents say 'jiri ire gi guo eze gi'
People should stop taking the easy way out and get with the program.
Nothing good comes easy so it really comes down to choice – the broad road or the narrow path?
your choice determines the end result and if they are children involved then the cheater is just plain selfish.