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What Is Your Advice For A Young Man Who Is Very Much In Love With A Lady And Wants To Settle Down With Her But Her Mother Wants Her To Go After More Men In Pursuit of Money!!!
Seriously, i don’t know what topic to give to this issue on ground. But i think you listeners understand the gist. A mother demanding her daughter to go after men to make money in order to take care of herself and the family when the lady is in a relationship with a guy who truely loves her and supporting her and her family in his own little capacity. This same mother had recieved loans from the guy in question two times with the pretence of using it for business. This guy really needs your advice, ladies and gentlemen, please give your advices,
Phone log:
Proudly King Tj : I have heard and seen lots of cases related to this. Its so unfortunate that there are still mothers in this age that still encourages their daughters to go into prostitution all in the name of making money. These kind of mothers are usually the materialistic type, those that will never add values to themselves nor their children and they want the best things of life.
Dumedi: It is probably because of the economic situation in the country.
Chuks: Am surprised you are not aware of this things Chaz B. I have seen many of these cases in the eastern part of the country. I donot agree that the economy has anything to do with this, it simply has to do with moral values of individuals.
Anonymous : This is a lower version of whats been happening long time ago. There has been cases where parents sell their properties to send their daughters abroad for prostitution so they could make money in foreign currencies and send down to them here in Nigeria. This issue still bores down to moral values and not economic problems.
Naomi: Everyone have their own life to live and rights to their own opinions. Therefore parents should not try to make money through their daughters. Because they have suffered failed dreams or being unable to achieve success in their time, doesnt mean they should put pressure on their daughters in order to make money from other men.
Silas: There is no way you can talk about this issues without telling it on the economy. But moral values still remains. Ladies should not accept pressure from parents, instead, they should think of positive things that will fetch them money.
Sunkanmi: This issue is not a new thing. The guy shouldnt go for the girl, i will advice him to just take a walk. What if the guy goes broke? The mother would still come back and persuade the girl to go into prostitution. Mothers should not influence their daughters into doing wrong things.
Kingsley: We can determine our actions but not the cosequences. Supposing the lady in question dies, wont the family or the parents continue with their own lives?. I would advice the lady to ignore all the pressures coming from her family and concentrate on her life.
Busola: It is not wrong for the lady to fend for her family but what i am against is for her trying to fend for herself and her family by selling her body to other men for pleasure and money.
Korede: First thing, for the guy, as long as he loves the lady, he should talk to her once again and advice her and observe her if she yeilds to his advice. And for the lady,she should take charge of her own life,, her mother is just a selfish person.
Supo: Advice for the guy, he should settle down, ask himself a very challenging question that if things turns out wrongly with him, how will he cope with the lady and the lady’s mother?
Melvin: The lady is into prostitution and that is the truth. The guy should know that from the lady’s family has a generational history of prostitution for her mother to be advising her to be meeting other men for money. Charity begins at home they say.
Anonymous 2: It is a habitual thing the mother is trying to put her daughter into. My advice for the guy is just to take a walk. He is not yet married to the lady and all these unpleasant issues are rising. How much more when they eventually get married?. The mother is not adding any positive values to her daughter. No doubt, after much persuasion from the mother, the lady will listen to her mother. The guy should just brace himself up and look somewhere else for a better partner.
Samson: If he really loves the lady, he should do some spiritual works on her, like taking her for counselling, prayers.
BrownSugar: The guy should just take a walk. For a mother to want her daughter to go all out to get money from men. Them am sorry, that is family of prostitutes. So guy, take a walk.
Nneka: First, the guy should take a walk. It is obvious that the mother wants the daughter to go into prostitution but the guy should advice the lady on what her mother is introducing her into.
Irene: It is either the guy walks away or settles it. If he is ready to take it on, he has to take it God in prayer. But if he truely loves this lady, he should introduce to some female and male friends that could influence her positively. But seriously, he shouldjust walk away. This issue is far beyond love, this is reality and a real life situation. He should make a positive impact in the lady’s life even if he is going to leave her for good.
Amos: It is sad that the lady is allowing her mother to influence her negatively at her age. She should just try and take charge of her own life. And for the guy, take a walk !!.
Dayo: I had a friend that suffered same fate also. If the lady is a christian, take her to a living church for proper counselling.
Helen: The lady might not know what she’s doing or going into is wrong, she might just think she is doing a favour for her family.
Bunmi: The guy should just take a walk and find someone better.
Chaz B: Thanks for your advises and comments, the guy is listening also and by now he should know what’s good for him. Thanks for your time everybody and God bless.
Finally: Guard your heart with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life.
12 Responses to “What Is Your Advice For A Young Man Who Is Very Much In Love With A Lady And Wants To Settle Down With Her But Her Mother Wants Her To Go After More Men In Pursuit of Money!!!”
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olayinka said on Saturday, October 10, 2009, 15:07
plz sir how can i get u facebook have tried but i didnt get plz kindly mail it to me yinkuse4jesu@yahoo.com
thanks a lot
dele said on Saturday, October 10, 2009, 15:43
Olayinka, Click the facebook icon/link at the top of the page (towards your right)
Napoleon said on Sunday, October 11, 2009, 10:06
Love is a decision IMO, the guy should simple disentangle himself from such home..1, if he marries he, d mother will be on his neck for money every time, and if things go bad for him financially, she'll influence the girl to leave him…2m is d girl even in love with him…3, is that the kind of family he wants to identify with…Love is good, but can be dangerous…the guy should fall out of that love and pray to god for a better suitor, becos whethere he likes it or not, the mothers influence will definitely affect the daughter on the long run.
bukkies31 said on Sunday, October 11, 2009, 23:41
i listened to the show on friday and i felt so sorry for the guy invovled,am sure the its not easy for him to leave the lady thats why he asked for help,but i think he should leave the lady because if after all he did for the family the mum can still influence the daughter against him then if he marries her except the mother becomes history he would never have full control over his wife meaning he wont enjoy his marriage.
sola said on Monday, October 12, 2009, 8:29
Chaz B, we now live in the generation of money conscious guys and gals but it is not a pointer to the fact that gud guys and gals are no where to be found. let the guy let go of the gal and start his life all-over. this might look tuff but with time he will get over it. he should remember that the gal is not worthy of his genuine love, one day he will find his missing rib if he stays faithful.
Buddy said on Monday, October 12, 2009, 8:51
The man should be wise and ask his girl some pertinent questions on how she feels about the issue without letting her realise she is going through an interrogation process. Her responses and attitude will help him decide on what steps of action should be taken. The mother of the lady is not wrong in wishing for her daughter to get married to a wealthy man, afterall, money is the only language understood in our own part of the clime.
Napoleon said on Monday, October 12, 2009, 11:37
I do not totally agree with you mate. No matter what the man does, the girls mother still has a stronger hold on her, and its just a matter of time before she gets her wish. And ladies tend to change their mind at the slightest conviction(no disrespect to d ladies). The guy should just move on with his life and pray to find a better love somewhere else…the issue has danger sign written all over it.
Onyx said on Monday, October 12, 2009, 16:39
Chaz-B, it’s just unfortunate that; that lady has such a woman as a mother, i support the opinion that THE GUY SHOULD WALK AWAY, i don’t how old the relationship is if at this stage he has not been able to effect any change in the girl’s life then i wonder if there would be any if they continue or get married.
But for the girl, i’ll like to give the following advice:
Firstly, the decision is in her hand; she’s found a guy who loves her and ready to marry her; she should listen to the guy and not her mother’s even the bible says obey your parent IN THE LORD……
Secondly, she needs to know that anything that becomes of her; she is responsible for it, that type of a mother will deny her tomorrow i’m damn sure of that.
Thirdly, if it is a generational thing, she should be ready to separate herself from this ”generational curse” and make a difference in her generation by separating from her mother. There are so many people that grew up without parents. So she won’t be the first. she needs to take her destiny in her hands.
Lastly, she should know that after her mother’s escapades with her, there is a greater mother and father up there (God) who is going to ask her what she’s done with her life. So the earlier she stands up for her life the better for her.
Onome
erhabor said on Monday, October 12, 2009, 15:43
u know i think it has more to do with the girl in question than the mother, if the girl truly loves this guy, she should be mature enough to know that its she who wants to get married and not the mother, so if she follows her mothers plans for her than she'll obviously be gettin her mothers wishes and not hers, yes she might end up getting married to a very rich guyb but eventually end up being a prisoner in her own house or worse still be physically and sexually abused by the man she calles husband. My advice to the dude is to talk some sense into the girl, hoping that in turn the girl would talk some sense into the mothers head (thats if mother and daughter are not conspiring together to squeeze our dear brother dry) in that instance……please run ooo!
kensport said on Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 17:12
Issues like this are so barbaric to my own oponion.Human always believe that happeness is achieve by being rich.We always forget that the rich man in the bible could buy his way to heaven.Such a mother should by made to serve some terms in prison.
mmalove said on Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 17:30
Chaz B, If the picture i saw is u, u r really ahandsome man, what i have to say to the lady is this, She doenst know what love is all about, i believe so much on what d word of God says about love, Love is kind, tenderhearted, patience, it covers all wrong. IF the lady is in love with this and she has a strong will, she will not do what the mother wants to do. My pastor said something, an i believe him. He said that the strength of a man or woman is in d ability to say no. Chaz B, you r a person of love, i heard it in ur voice, how u speak to people with love and respect. God will increase ur ability. I love u Chidinma
anonymous said on Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 20:14
chidinma, pls take it easy with Chaz B.