Comments on: Toxic Relationships

By: inikpi

inikpi — Fri, 28 May 2010 21:31:31 +0000

its very difficult to accept sharing your man with another woman if you are truely in love,but reverse is the case when you are not.Its not in God's original plan for a man to have more than one woman in his life as a companion,else, Adam would have been given two Eve's.

By: comely

comely — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 17:35:52 +0000

Hi Chaz B, dating married men is a sin and i completely believe it although i'm involved with a married man. No sex though but i know he wants it but i do not let him. I hardly ever see him because he's in a different city, i guess that has helped me. He sends me money once in a while. I'm not happy i'm in this toxic relationship but i think its because i hardly have young single men look my way. I don't know why because i'm pretty, intelligent etc. I want a single guy but i find none. Pls help find one for me so i can break off from this relationship.

By: B.B

B.B — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 09:53:29 +0000

Hi chaz, great work you are doing. I discover that my husband was cheating on me just of recent. I discover that he used to call a particular number and the same number used to call him too. Then I was not feeling comfortable and I confront him asking him who the lady was to him. His response was that she was just her colleagues in the office and I forget the case.
After that I discover a lot of things were not right with him, so I decided to do a follow up. Then on one faithful evening, he used my number to call the lady in question late at night and when I walk in to the sitting room. He was still on phone with the lady; he thought I was asleep, so I asked him who he was using my phone to call that late. I tried to collect my phone from him but he refuse to give me later with force and fight, I was able to collect my phone and checking the number from his phone.I discovered that it was the same lady in question. So I called the lady and asked her to please leave my husband alone for me that my marriage is still fresh just some months ago.
She respond with a text and I quote ‘Hello ma, sorry about that. Will never pick his call again. Am not dating or seeing your husby. Believed it’s just a friendly call. Lovely night. I didn’t call. Time was 11.40pm.
Later my huby confessed to me that he was still trying to get her but the lady has not agreed yet. To crown it all I still discover that they are seeing each other and I called the lady in question and I told her that what goes around comes around. I also told her that I will report her to some people in her office then she called my huby. Only for my hubby to start to blame me for calling the lady and threaten her, later I called the lady and I apologize to her but I told her that; I am only doing that because of my home but believe me she will see more than that in life.
I am young but i wonder why single lady should be dating married men.What for.

By: temi

temi — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:33:15 +0000

hi chaz, i'm in a toxic relationship, though i'm married , i'm having an affair with a married man in as much as i want to stop this i find myself going back. chaz, i've been a good girl all my life it just that im not finding love again with my husband he always shun me off when ever i try to tell him how i feel and someone else is giving me all these love and attention.what can i do?

By: Bee

Bee — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 01:28:06 +0000

that's the kind of bullshit that's destroying lives. you have very little responsibility for what goes wrong but are the head of an institution? I'd shudder to think of how you would run a country with that mentality. then again maybe your kind already head bigger institutions and blame their wives for not creating the atmosphere that would have made them more responsible citizens.

everyman will stand before God to give account of himself. the days of 'its the woman thou gavest me' is long gone. I spent 7 months in hospital with a complex pregnancy and my husbands needs weren't being met. he didn't go woman hunting and blaming me for not keeping the home. he stepped it up a gear and took really good care of me and kept asking what he could do to make me more comfortable and happy. 10yrs on and two bedrests later, I keep fit, take him to dinner and do a private pole dance because he's proved that he's worth it. He takes charge of his thoughts emotions and actions, he embraces the worst of me and by so doing brings out the best in me. That's what a real man does.

By: saater samson

saater samson — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 14:17:56 +0000

u have a position i completely agree with

By: Sandy

Sandy — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 10:04:50 +0000

Chaz, what do you do when it seems like the relationship you are in is toxic, not by your definition above as it does not have anything to do with any married person, neither does it have to do with wealth. i use the word toxic because during arguments, hurtful words are used recklessly and even when we both apologize, it seems like he holds on to them so when there is another quarrel, those same words are 're-incarnated'. Would you call this toxic? what do i do as it's really killing me.

By: Sandy

Sandy — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 09:36:54 +0000

Hi Chaz, what happens when you are in a toxic relationship but not toxic by your definition? By “toxic” here i mean when 2 people are together but cannot totally get over hurtful words used when emotions are running high?

By: Kemi

Kemi — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 06:57:23 +0000

Hi Buddy, i celebrate the grace of God for the strength to handle your ex like you did. I believe marriage is a choice and one should live with the consequences of the choice. She made her choice so she should live with it. Had a friend at a time who went ahead to marry someone else 3 years ago. Now he's back begging for a second chance, saying that he made a mistake and that he's not happy. i have cut off communication with him because i dont want someone cheating with my husband although i'm not married yet. Men should learn to live with the women they have chosen to marry, its a 80/20 thing. She has 80% of what you want so you married her, stop looking for the 20% she doesnt have outside and although its difficult, one has to learn to cut off toxic relationships. Walk away and open doors to new people and trust God for better. FLEE EVERY APPEARANCE OF EVIL…that's the way! Freewill to live with choices!

By: dele

dele — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 05:53:58 +0000

Buddy, its really impressive the manner you've handled the issue, God will continue to remain your strength. Dont find yourselves in her evil trap. okay?

I believe the reason people mess us their lives (and jeopardize their family's lives too) is because they believe they can handle the situation, but believe me, no one has, the cheat code to beating all these toxic relationship issue is: FLEE. nothing works better zan zat.