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Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationships implies getting involved in unpleasant relationships basically because of material gains such as single ladies dating married men and vice versa because of money,cars and other related illicit reasons. What is your opinion on this issue?
Phone Logs;
Anonymous: Before i got married, i had dated married men just to satisfy my materialistic affection. But now that i am married, i have this bad feeling that keeps pricking me that young ladies out there would dating my husband. 
Because i know within me that what goes around comes around. I keep praying to God for forgiveness.
Tripple X : I am a loving guy and i attend to the ladies needs, i am supportive and caring. So tell me why wont the ladies flock all around me? . But the truth of the matter is, if a lady gets involved with you because of the material things you provide for her, then you are in for the wrong woman.
Desmond: Whatever you sow, you will reap. Its as simple as that.
Bimbo: for the ladies, ask God for directions and mercies when it comes to relationships. Don’t ever involve yourself with a married man, because when you get married, you wouldn’t be happy to find out your husband is having an affair with some young girls outside matrimony. Therefore, do unto others as you want them to do to you.
Lanre: Its unfortunate to find out that some so called Men of God take advantage of their ministries to commit all sorts of attrocities with young ladies.
Etineh: Has a younger sister dating a married pastor and the younger sister doesn’t care despite the fact that everyone knows about it.
Chaz B : Concerned men of God should read the books of Revelation in the Bible.
Daniel : Ladies of nowadays are not ready to build up a relationship with an aspiring young man, instead, they look around for rich and made men who can satisfy their needs, and consequently, they end up been used and jilted, sadly.
Chaz B: Its amazing how some ladies feel comfortable when a married man tells them he would leave or send his wife away so as to bring them to the house. Ladies should think , and ask themselves this question… Do they expect to be happy in their own marriage with the man?
Anonymous : Found out that my husband is involved in serious affairs outside marriage but i didn’t know all the while. I am still living with him because of my daughter,,, or else, i can’t stand living with him.
Chaz B : Please read the book of James chapter 1
Peter : the toxic relationship is 2-way thing, both the man and the woman are both to be blamed.
Grace: The affairs these ladies go into, sadly, they don’t know the negative implications it has on them. They are just like batteries, the more it is used, they more it weakens and looses value. My advice to married women and single ladies is that, always keep good looks, dress nice, because you have to always keep your man attracted to you..
Tunde : There is a high level of moral decadence in our society. Ladies should add values to themselves instead of looking for a man to take care of them. No man is interested in settling with a liability, even though they have affairs with you.
Yvonne: It is all about feeling loved. But the trust of the matter is that,, Dating a married a wrong. What is bad is bad, it has no other name other than BAD.
Chaz B : Guard your mind with all your heart because out of it flows the good things of life.
19 Responses to “Toxic Relationships”
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titimicro said on Tuesday, October 6, 2009, 11:47
sometimes u just cant help it ,it depends on d circumstances surrounding d rlship.i think wat matters is having a happy home.some women are second or even third wife and they are happier than others that are just d only wife. and lets remember one thing here that destiny can never be altered, fate will always take its course,afterall esther was not a first wife,but God took her into dat marriage 4 a purpose.however, i am not in support of ladies snatching people’s husbands.if u want to be a second, good! but dont be a home breaker.
thekulchurepple said on Tuesday, October 6, 2009, 12:31
Its sad that most people cant differentiate between real love and material love. There is a saying that “Money cannot buy love but it can rent a close imitation of it’” . People go into series of relationships for different reasons. Its upto individuals to decide on what profits them most when it comes to relationships.
sheg okuns said on Tuesday, October 6, 2009, 13:02
the issue is that ladies should always be straight and factual in all their dealings with spouse. like d anonymous that confessed her own part above, if she could say that to her hunsband with such a remorse feeling, she’s forgiven even in heaven and the hubby ‘ll not count anything against her again. but if she’s the type that always try to cover up her deeds, any leakage ‘ll promt the man to make reprisal for wht she’s done b4 probably if she dated married men, then the man ‘ll like to go after girls as well. that is just it. ladies should spread it among themselves that the idea of dating married men is bad without any value.
Kenni said on Tuesday, October 6, 2009, 14:39
Chaz. am not married but i heard a friend of mine who is married and commited to his wife saying that his wife said to him that he look like a player.after talking and promising his wife thathe would never break her heart she still didnt believe her husband, this prompted the man to have an extra marital affair and he made it known to his wife. Now she realised her mistake but my friend has refused to go back to himself.
Kenni said on Tuesday, October 6, 2009, 14:50
Chaz B. I am not saying guys are exonorated from the blame but wellbeing,happiness and joy of the home lies 95% in the hand of the woman. I advise the women to keep their husband both physically and spiritually. There is no man kept spiritually that wouldnt be able to control is physical world.
Onyx said on Tuesday, October 6, 2009, 17:05
Material gains is not an excuse to sin against God, Sin is Sin, toxic relationship is not heading you anywhere so don’t go into it. Morally, it doesn’t speak God of a single lady being seen with Married men, it automatically drives the single guys away. Spiritually, you are stopping some blessing that you don’t know are coming your way. The financial aspect that you think you are getting is just CRUMBS because you are a second fiddle, that man will always think of his wife and his children first before you, if only you know that YOU ARE AN ORIGINAL, you are number one and number two. So ladies, KEEP YOURSELF FOR THE ORIGINAL. Onome
Oge said on Wednesday, October 7, 2009, 19:05
I believe whatever you sow, you must reap. If a lady is going out with another woman’s husband, definitely another woman, probably someone younger will go out with her husband when she gets married. What goes around comes around. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, and such should not be contaminated by adulterous husbands who don’t, for any reason deserve our precious bodies
Napoleon said on Thursday, October 8, 2009, 13:19
Ladies and guys that date married people live with the guilt when they eventually get married. This guilty feeling leads to insecurity about thier marriage and all that. Young guys and ladies should avoid such toxic relationships, Becos as u're sleeping with another womans husband, your husband is gonna have flings with some random girl too…What goes around comes around, even harder.
Buddy said on Thursday, October 8, 2009, 14:20
My first love who i dated without sex for three years jilted me for a happening guy who also had stolen dough from his parents to throw around when i was just in my year one at the university. She had a baby for him and ended up marrying him before she realised her mistakes. Obviously, she is no more enjoying her relationship with him and whenever they have a quarrel, she runs to me for succour and tells me she has realised her mistakes and that i am the best thing that ever happened to her. I was almost tempted to play along with her and have sex with her, at least to compensate those years of loyalty to her. But, now i have a very beautiful wife and a son. I don't want to offend them or God. I also believe what goes around comes around and i don't want someone else sleeping with my wife. So, I advised her to mend the cracks in her marriage and not to come around me nor call me anymore. Most people who are in toxic relationships do so with their eyes open and feeling they know how to handle issues which later overwhelm them.
dele said on Friday, October 9, 2009, 5:53
Buddy, its really impressive the manner you've handled the issue, God will continue to remain your strength. Dont find yourselves in her evil trap. okay?
I believe the reason people mess us their lives (and jeopardize their family's lives too) is because they believe they can handle the situation, but believe me, no one has, the cheat code to beating all these toxic relationship issue is: FLEE. nothing works better zan zat.
Kemi said on Friday, October 9, 2009, 6:57
Hi Buddy, i celebrate the grace of God for the strength to handle your ex like you did. I believe marriage is a choice and one should live with the consequences of the choice. She made her choice so she should live with it. Had a friend at a time who went ahead to marry someone else 3 years ago. Now he's back begging for a second chance, saying that he made a mistake and that he's not happy. i have cut off communication with him because i dont want someone cheating with my husband although i'm not married yet. Men should learn to live with the women they have chosen to marry, its a 80/20 thing. She has 80% of what you want so you married her, stop looking for the 20% she doesnt have outside and although its difficult, one has to learn to cut off toxic relationships. Walk away and open doors to new people and trust God for better. FLEE EVERY APPEARANCE OF EVIL…that's the way! Freewill to live with choices!
Sandy said on Monday, October 12, 2009, 10:36
Hi Chaz, what happens when you are in a toxic relationship but not toxic by your definition? By “toxic” here i mean when 2 people are together but cannot totally get over hurtful words used when emotions are running high?
Sandy said on Monday, October 12, 2009, 10:04
Chaz, what do you do when it seems like the relationship you are in is toxic, not by your definition above as it does not have anything to do with any married person, neither does it have to do with wealth. i use the word toxic because during arguments, hurtful words are used recklessly and even when we both apologize, it seems like he holds on to them so when there is another quarrel, those same words are 're-incarnated'. Would you call this toxic? what do i do as it's really killing me.
saater samson said on Sunday, October 18, 2009, 14:17
u have a position i completely agree with
Bee said on Sunday, November 22, 2009, 1:28
that's the kind of bullshit that's destroying lives. you have very little responsibility for what goes wrong but are the head of an institution? I'd shudder to think of how you would run a country with that mentality. then again maybe your kind already head bigger institutions and blame their wives for not creating the atmosphere that would have made them more responsible citizens.
everyman will stand before God to give account of himself. the days of 'its the woman thou gavest me' is long gone. I spent 7 months in hospital with a complex pregnancy and my husbands needs weren't being met. he didn't go woman hunting and blaming me for not keeping the home. he stepped it up a gear and took really good care of me and kept asking what he could do to make me more comfortable and happy. 10yrs on and two bedrests later, I keep fit, take him to dinner and do a private pole dance because he's proved that he's worth it. He takes charge of his thoughts emotions and actions, he embraces the worst of me and by so doing brings out the best in me. That's what a real man does.
temi said on Monday, December 7, 2009, 21:33
hi chaz, i'm in a toxic relationship, though i'm married , i'm having an affair with a married man in as much as i want to stop this i find myself going back. chaz, i've been a good girl all my life it just that im not finding love again with my husband he always shun me off when ever i try to tell him how i feel and someone else is giving me all these love and attention.what can i do?
B.B said on Tuesday, December 15, 2009, 10:53
Hi chaz, great work you are doing. I discover that my husband was cheating on me just of recent. I discover that he used to call a particular number and the same number used to call him too. Then I was not feeling comfortable and I confront him asking him who the lady was to him. His response was that she was just her colleagues in the office and I forget the case.
After that I discover a lot of things were not right with him, so I decided to do a follow up. Then on one faithful evening, he used my number to call the lady in question late at night and when I walk in to the sitting room. He was still on phone with the lady; he thought I was asleep, so I asked him who he was using my phone to call that late. I tried to collect my phone from him but he refuse to give me later with force and fight, I was able to collect my phone and checking the number from his phone.I discovered that it was the same lady in question. So I called the lady and asked her to please leave my husband alone for me that my marriage is still fresh just some months ago.
She respond with a text and I quote ‘Hello ma, sorry about that. Will never pick his call again. Am not dating or seeing your husby. Believed it’s just a friendly call. Lovely night. I didn’t call. Time was 11.40pm.
Later my huby confessed to me that he was still trying to get her but the lady has not agreed yet. To crown it all I still discover that they are seeing each other and I called the lady in question and I told her that what goes around comes around. I also told her that I will report her to some people in her office then she called my huby. Only for my hubby to start to blame me for calling the lady and threaten her, later I called the lady and I apologize to her but I told her that; I am only doing that because of my home but believe me she will see more than that in life.
I am young but i wonder why single lady should be dating married men.What for.
comely said on Saturday, January 9, 2010, 17:35
Hi Chaz B, dating married men is a sin and i completely believe it although i'm involved with a married man. No sex though but i know he wants it but i do not let him. I hardly ever see him because he's in a different city, i guess that has helped me. He sends me money once in a while. I'm not happy i'm in this toxic relationship but i think its because i hardly have young single men look my way. I don't know why because i'm pretty, intelligent etc. I want a single guy but i find none. Pls help find one for me so i can break off from this relationship.
inikpi said on Friday, May 28, 2010, 21:31
its very difficult to accept sharing your man with another woman if you are truely in love,but reverse is the case when you are not.Its not in God's original plan for a man to have more than one woman in his life as a companion,else, Adam would have been given two Eve's.